What is the dumbest invention ever?

I was watching the History Channel yesterday and was sucked into their show "80s tech". It was a bit nostalgic, but I do remember cool toys, Simon, Rubik’s cube and other gadgets of the 80s. How can you beat a true floppy disc, the transformation from records to tapes to compact discs and the beta vs. VHS war? Man, I loved the 80s. The end of the show summarized 80s technology at its best. All of our current technology has its roots in the 80s.

Fast forward to today. My wife has been begging me to finish raking the leaves, a job that I am not fond of. Being that I work through the course of the fall, the leaves tend to take a back seat. In an effort to get me to finish raking the leaves, my wife borrowed, what could be the dumbest invention ever….





From the picture, you can see the dumbest invention ever... the leaf blower. What is the point of this apparatus? I’m not really sure. I think that it is to rapidly move leaves into a large pile. However it is so strong and powerful all it did was ruin my lawn and create a bigger mess. The point of raking is to collect all the leaves and bag them. With a rake this task can easily and quickly be accomplished. With a leaf blower you create a mess.

How does this thing work? Take a vacuum cleaner and turn the switch from “suck” to “blow”. All you do is create a bigger mess. In all honesty wouldn’t we just be better off with a leaf vacuum? We have lawn mowers that collect the grass as we cut, and vacuum cleaners to collect dust. Surely we have the technology to create a leaf vacuum.

What is the dumbest invention ever? In my opinion it is the leaf blower. I will take suggestions.

Note: The second worst invention is the GPS, but that is a discussion for another day.

I'm a pepper, your a pepper

He's a pepper, she's a pepper, we're all a pepper.

When I was a young kid I had the coolest Dr. Pepper T-shirt. It had puffy letters. I liked Dr. Pepper since then.

For all Dr. Pepper fans, there is a free giveaway, but you have to be quick. You have another 8 hours to receive a coupon for a free Dr. Pepper. Why? It all has to do with Chinese democracy, Guns N Roses new album. Check out the whole deal here.

Phil Elson for play by play man

I'm always sorry to see a beloved announcer go. I hated Myron Cope's last seasons as he was not himself. I was also disappointed by the attempted coup of Mike Lange. Now that Lanny Fratere is retiring I am asking that everyone support Phil Elson for play by play man. Granted I haven't had a conversation with him since my days at Emma Kauffman Camp, I would be great to have an accomplished member of the tribe (not the Indians) and local boy calling the play by play of the Bucs. See below for his upside.

http://www.travs.com/staff/office/index.html?staff_id=6

http://www.stljewishlight.com/jewishsingles/287929010166127.php

http://www.post-gazette.com/pg/08204/898597-87.stm

http://www.post-gazette.com/sports/columnists/20010702thebig0702p1.asp

Phil -- I hope this is your dream job and please throw your hat into the ring!

Turkish National anthem

Did you know that the Turkish National Anthem is "The Independence March"? Am I the only one who finds this slightly ironic considering the Ottomon Turk's long history of controlling vast territory throughout the world?

Sisqu files suit over thong!!!

Ok so Sisqu really is not suing anyone, at least that I know of. Sisqu is known for the "thong song" a hit song several years ago, but there may be a resurgence of this song. Why? Well that is because Macrida Patterson is suing Victoria's Secret over "faulty underwear". What!! You read correctly. Check the link below: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/3032619/#25258620

First of all I have to say how silly this really is. Apparently Ms. Patterson was wearing a "decorative thong". I'm not exactly sure there is a thing called "decorative thong", but if there is, it has to be of sexual nature. Is she a prostitute?

The thong apparently was faulty. I can think of several ways that underwear can be faulty. Not wiping your ass incorrectly leaves shit stains. That is faulty. Holes in your underwear are also faulty. However, wearing your underwear as you gain weight is your fault. According to Ms. Patterson a "metal" part of her underwear flew and scratched her eye. Why. I go with the too fat scenario. Why did you need metal in your underwear again?

According to her attorney the underwear was faulty in its design and manufacture. Is that really possible?

Too Much info? Probably. However, in an unmatched journalistic moment, Meredith Viera asked those tough questions. You know those questions Tim Russert was known to ask.

"How many times did you wear this underwear"? "Did you launder your underwear"?
Ms. Patterson's answer; “No Meredith, I wore it like maybe once, like, no, maybe twice". She further states that she has "a lot of underwear from Victoria’s Secret so I didn't have to wear it a lot".

One week supply? Two week supply? We need to know.

In this hard-hitting case and through Meredith Viera's top notch journalistic skills we also learned that Victoria's Secret actually asked for the "defective underwear" so that they could analyze it. EEEEEWWWWWW gross. The young pup lawyer denied because he wanted to keep the evidence. Why? Don't you know that your chance of getting a Victoria's Secret model has just rapidly deteriorated?

In one of the greatest lines I have ever hear the young pup lawyer responds to Viera's "How much money do you want"? By stating "This case is definitely about protecting the consumer from ah you know being exposed to and being harmed from these potential products"
That is definitely code for "the closest I will ever be to seeing a naked women has to be locating all women who have purchased this product in hopes that one of them will try it on in front of me!!!"

In closing the young pup attorney slips up by stating "we want to make sure that Vict... ah Macrida Patterson (Ms. Patterson shoots a dirty look) is fully redressed for her grievous injury".
In all honesty this is the dumbest lawsuit since the McDonald's "I can't believe coffee hot suit"

Sweden vs. Russia

The last day of group play puts Sweden vs Russia. The Russian need a win while the Swedes need a draw or win to advance. So who am I choosing? Let's compare the two.

Top Swedish Model: Caroline Winberg seen on the left.
Top Russian Model: Anna Kournikova seen to the right

Advantage: Russia

Sweden's greatest player: Henrick Larsson

Russian's greatest player: Lev Yashin (is he Jewish?)

advantage: Sweden

National Anthem singing:

advantage Sweden (zlatan ibrahimovic you are hanging out with malouda way too much... naughty, naughty)

Coolest name: Yuri Zhirkov (Pronounced zorkoff, which sounds similar to jerkoff) advantage Russia

Swedish Flag:

Russian Flag:

Advantage: Tie - You can't go wrong with red, white and blue, but you have to admit there is just something cool about the Swedish flag.

Best international business

Sweden: IKEA

Russia: Smirnoff

Furniture vs. drunkenness? Who is badder? I don't know many funiture manufacterers that woulc survive a drunk. Ask any WVU or Boston sports fan.

Advantage: Russia

Musician:

Russia: Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky

Sweden: Abba

Advantage: Russia

Top female athlete:

Russia: Maria Sharapova

Sweden: Annika sorenstam

Russia

Obvioiusly you get the point who won this game.

World Cup Finals Retmatch....live

I'm anxious to see which game(s) will be shown today. As I have already shared, I'm a huge fan of the Dutch, but I can't imagine that the Italy vs. French game would not be shown. It is Italy/France...I'm happy with that.

Will we see any head buts?

Pregame... I've decided I want to see Italy win. I have based this solely on the Italian team's singing ability. Who wouldn't want to cheer for a team who is singing "with great gusto" their team's national anthem and the Italians have crazier hair although they do lack creativity with their hair dues. Antonio Cassano is starting. I saw him when he played as an 18 year old for A.S. Roma. His play caused the only "Mamma Mia" uttered during my stay in Italy. He's a big time player, who hasn't lived up to his potential.

Even though Malouda is not playing (he must have been pulled because he doesn't know the national anthem), it appears that they have inserted new guys who do not know their national anthem. Additionally there is no one with crazy hair. Is the most creative French item "French fries"?The coin toss is exiting.

The referee is Ľuboš Michĕl from Slovakia. Being that I have seen him referee Champions League games I think he is good.

9th minute -Frank Ribery is injured. That is too bad since he has been playing well. He has been substituted for Nasri is in the game. This isn't good for France. Romania vs. Netherlands 0-0

18th minute - Evra picks up a yellow card for a late challenge.

19th minute Gavou's shot goes wide. Henry is mad it wasn't a cross to him. 24 minute - Eric Adibal is sent off for taking Luca Toni down in the box

25th minute - Pirlo converts the penalty by blasting the ball in the upper 90. Raymond Domenech looks really confused. I'm sure Raymond Domenech is asking "Does France offer unemployment?” The French take off Nasri. Has he set the record for shortest time played in a Euro game?

28th minute - Di Rossi blasts a shot over the crossbar. The French are in disarray. I can't imagine French winning. Luca Toni almost converts and off balance flick to goal.

30th minute - Luca Toni looks like a champ. Andy Gray pisses me off. He is really irritating and constantly negative. I hate his accent too. Where the hell is he from? Please take away his Visa and send him back to wherever he came from.

34th minute - Henry misses his chance. Netherlands 0 Romania 0. Cassano has not touched the ball.

37th minute - Cassano has to trek back to touch the ball.

38th minute - Free kick directly into the Italian wall, 3 feet from the ground. They need to bring me in as a free kick specialist. I think I can play longer than Nasri.

43rd - Di Rossi is fouled near the top of the box. Let's hope they can strike it better than the French. Awesome strike, the French goalkeeper touches it just enough so that it deflects off the post, but ball does not go in.

45th minute - Pirlo is booked. He has to sit out the next game.

Stoppage time - another booking against the Italians.

We're back in action. Govou is book for a challange on Cassano who appears to slowly become involved in the game.

54th minute - Gattuso is booked. There is really very little going on this half. Pirlo is subbed. Ambrossini is now on. I hope he lasts longer than Nasri. Netherlands 0 Romania 0.

GOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALL!!!!! Dutch 1 Romania 0.

62nd minute GOAL!!! - Di Rossi puts one in!! Italy 2 France 0!!!

Perrotta is out Camoranesi is in!

Govou is out. Truthfully I think he sucks. Nicholas Anelka is in. The French appear to be going all out. Things are looking very grim. Domenech has his agent on the line and is asking how much his unemployment checks are going to be.

68th minute there is an injury and they show some hot Italian chicks on TV.

70th minute - Cassano is fouled and is injured. More Hot Italian chicks are shown. Cassano has been fouled 4 times today.

72nd minute - another booking Boumsong (i think). What a terrible name. My suggestion is to rename yourself the thong song.

74th - The French aren't giving up. Benzema has a nice shot on goal. Nice save by Buffon.

85th minute - Henry is booked. Man these two sides hate each other.

Stoppage time - Barring any miracle it appears that Italy will win. Again Luca Tonie with an awesome strike. Game over.




Netherlands 2 Romania 0





Post game - There is nothing better than Ruud Gullit's quote about his appearance in 1988. "I looked like a porn star".

Euro 2008

Now that I am spending more time at home during the day, I have more time to watch soccer. I love watching the "Orange" (I call them the Orange Crush) aka the Netherlands kick some ass. I have been a fan of the Dutch since the days of Koeman bothers and Dennis Bergkamp in the early 90s when they knocked Britain out of the '94 World Cup. Their trumping of both finalists from the 2006 World Cup is quite impressive and I hope they continue this awesome display.

Watching these games has lead me to ponder a few things.

1. Why is the Dutch national anthem called William of Nassau? Why not call it something that shows it's strong history? Here are some suggestions. "Ode to Peter Stuyvesant" or "Glory Dutch East India Company"?

2. Why do the Dutch wear orange when the national colors are red, white and blue? Why does Italy wear blue when their national colors are green, white, and red?

3. Does the Spanish national anthem have any words? None of the players were singing their national anthem when it was playing.

4. Does Florent Malouda know the French national anthem. He was the lone Frenchman not singing when it was playing prior to yesterday's game.

5. Why aren't there any strange hairdues? I always look forward to the "crazy dues". Can you beat these dues from the 2002?

Ronaldo

taribo west

David Beckham

A review of Southern Style Chicken Sandwich at McDonald's

Let me start by saying that I am now working the evening shift. What exactly does this mean? I have alot more free time during the day to ponder it is that I ponder. It also means that I can go to various businesses like McDonald's and take them up on their free offerings.

I know that you all have been waiting for my review of the Southern Style Chicken Sandwich at McDonald's. With the purchase of a drink you are entitled to a FREE Southern Style Chicken Sandwich. Since I first hear of this great offering last weekend I was excited. The sandwich sounded good on the radio.

If only I did my research before hand.

According to McDonald's you can enjoy this:

Southern Style Chicken Sandwich --- All hail, the perfect sandwich. So simple, so juicy, so perfectly seasoned, lightly breaded all white meat chicken topped with two pickles and served on an oh, so steamy buttery tasting bun. ( http://www.mcdonalds.com/usa/eat/features.html )

So how is this wonderful sandwich? Let me start off by saying this. If you enjoy rushing to the bathroom within 30 minutes of eating, this is the perfect sandwich for you. When I first got there I didn't realize that this was merely a chicken sandwich with pickles. I was quite disappointed in this. I pictured it to be very different. It wasn't. It was not even an original idea. I'm not quite sure how I McDonalds has been missing this simple idea for years?

Keep in mind that the chicken sandwich was not really free. I had to purcase a drink, which I guess is the only way that McD's actually can make some money off of eat this laxative. However instead of paying $1.06 for a pop, I had to pay $2.37 for a milkshake (which was rather tasy I have to admit). It should have been simple. Instead I ended up arguing the my server over whether my drink was a pop or soda (which costs $1.06) and got frustrated. She was able to understand "milkshake", so I paid $2.37 for that instead.

All in all if you are looking to purchase the new Southern Style Chicken Sandwich from McDonald's I urge you not to and stick with the quarter pounder and cheese or go directly to the closest Wendy's or Arby's.

Edge, Why Promote beards?

Ok, so the series is over and the Penguins lost. I am disappointed in their loss and seeing how close they were to tieing the game, but truthfully they were outplayed by a better team. It was still a great season. It was fun to watch a bunch of scruffy guys play with broken noses and other assorted injuries put their hearts on the line for the prize.

What I still have trouble understanind is Edge shaving cream company. If someone from this company reads this please answer the following questions:

What is with the Aloe commercial? I never understood the "Aloe commercial" other than the fact that they featured hot women.

Why are you promoting the "playoff beard"? Your business build on people consuming shaving cream, which means that people have to shave. Having silly promotions where we can monitor the players beards promote facial growth, meaning that you do not shave or use your product. Is this some sort of reverse psychology? Really I don't understand.

Mr. Tire

I would be remiss if I did not say anything about witnessing one of the greatest hockey games ever last evening. I did doze off a few times throughout the 2nd and 3rd overtimes, but I did witness multiple comebacks in this epic game and did catch Sykora's game winning goal. GO PENS.


Now to Mr. Tire here is a copy of a letter that I am sending their way:

Dear Mr. Tire,

I am very disappointed in the recent service I was provided with in a recent visit. I visited your store on _____________ Road in ________________, ___________ on Monday June 2 and was told that it would be a 2 hour wait to get my oil changed in my car. Because I felt that was an extraordinary time to wait I asked to set up an appointment. Your representative allowed me to set up an appointment for the following day. What I did not know was that despite the fact I had an appointment, I had to wait for an hour and a half for my car to be completed when I returned the next day. The oil change took 15 minutes, however my car sat in the parking lot for an hour before anyone moved it to the working station.

While I was upset at having to wait so long, I was more disgusted by the waiting area. The leaky ceiling, missing ceiling tile, buckets filled with water and the massive puddles were extremely painful to look at and listening to the constant dripping of water distracted me from doing the work that I brought with me. While I saved money by patronizing this store, your poor service and horrible appearance are shameful and I will likely take my business elsewhere opting to go more expensive place that offers quicker service and provides better accommodation in the customer waiting areas. I would appreciate it if you could please address these issues in the future.

Sincerely,


Mystery Man.

Shame on you espn

So waking up at this early hour, I see very little on. I have seen one commercial for a Bra sale at Boscovs for anyone who cares, you know the 50 percent of Americans who likely wear one every day.

If you have not seen the Champions League final yet, and still want to, please stop reading.


Last night I watched 90 minutes, plus penalty kicks, of the Champions League final. This is one of the biggest sporting events in the world, yet ESPN managed to play the first 45 minutes and then picked it up at the 75th minute after halftime. I'm sure there are some creative editors out there who could have chopped player's rolling on the ground, and taking forever to get a goal kick in so that we could have seen the rest of the game. I do not believe that anything significant happened during that time, but don't play part of the game. By the way Manchester United won on Penalty kicks.

Thanks for the memories...

Which of the following is most irritating?

A) The service light of my car turns on and I have to go to the dealership to have it taken care of?

B) The guy in front of me in line at the dealership parks his car and refuses to get out of it. When he decides to get out of his car he looks at my car, half in the garage, half out of the garage, looks at the entrance, back at my car, and then proceeds to walk to the entrance. He then looks at me dumbfounded as a honk the horn at this asshole and ask him to pull his car forward so that I can be completely in the garage.

C) I must spend the next hour and a half listening to this idiot asshole abuse his "courtesy phone" privledges and make 5-8 business calls speaking as loud as a Penguins fan during yesterday's overtime win against the New York Rangers.

D) Pay $35 to have my tire "plugged" and have to deal with idiots at the car dealership.

E) All of the above

DC Metro and baseball

The angry consumer is back. Let me just say that I spent a good deal of time on Thursday traveling to the DC Nationals new baseball stadium. I was not very impressed with the new stadium, but it is a work in progress. Maybe I have been spoiled with PNC Park, but the food selection was poor and there was a minimal view of anything. Outside the ballpark there is virtually no development and no where to go for a quick bite to eat or drink. I think that once building was in place investors should have been breaking ground for some sort of convenience store and/or restaurants. I’m sure it will happen soon enough and is under development right now. The fact that I paid $7 for $18 seats and then received 5 free tickets, 3 of which were 3 rows from the 3rd base foul pole, shows how great the demand for Nats tickets and development really is.

As I stated earlier it took me some time to travel to the game. I drove to the Metro station and parked the car. I quickly arrived at the stop and was given the wrong information on the price of the subway ticket by a woman who would not accept my money, or for that matter teach me to use the vending machine card dispenser. Thankfully another frequent customer helped me out. I was also quite disappointed that I had to pay $10 to park at the Metro station. Yes they advertised it as $4.75, but either I did not understand the sign correctly, or they mislead me to understand that you have to pay an additional $5 for a Smartcard, a piece of plastic that probably costs $0.10 in addition to my $4.75 to park. If I was a regular using the DC Metro maybe I would not have issues with them. However DC is a major tourist center and should be a lot more “user friendly”. I have been to NYC, London, Atlanta, and several additional cities in Europe and the States whose system is so much better. The only city that has worse public transportation is Florence. However my experiences with public transport in that city are a whole story in itself, which involves a high fair and the possibility of jail time. I will save that store for some other time.

The angry consumer returns

I will have more to report on my experiences as an angry consumer with a certain Maryland subway system and a certain Maryland baseball team, but I'm mostly upset with Starbucks. Can someone explain to me why I paid nearly $3 for 8 oz of coffee? They reduced the size. I may not be the first to report this, but seriously I think a "tall" (8 oz. is not tall at all) used to be 12 oz. Good thing I'm not a Starbucks regular.

How much is a tree worth?

What do the following items all have in common? The answer is in the comments section.

Crystal Palace
Queens Park
Wembly
Norwich

I am an active recycler (is this a word?). I save my bottles and paper among other things. If I can reuse something I will get it fixed. I hate throwing stuff away. With that in mind I ask how much is a tree worth?

Not long ago I moved into a house which requires a homeowners association membership. The fees are bearable and I know that value of my home will not drastically decrease because my neighbor's house is an eyesore. I'm not exactly an expert on homeowners associations, but I'm sure that there is some relationship between the developer and the homeowners association. All of this leads me to the following scenario.

The homeowners association requires that there is a tree on the front lawn. I like trees, but they do shed in the fall which means I have to rake leaves. Insects, birds and other living creatures make their abodes in the tree as well, which is a little bothersome. That being said, I have to ask what the point of this "tree requirement" is. They developer came in and ripped thousands of trees to build my home, ruining the habitat of the local ecosystem. Is this some sort of guilty feeling? Some sort of unfair trade? The developers kill so many trees developing the land and later use wood in the home construction. I'm quite confindent that at least 10 trees were probably killed in the process of the construction of my home, yet they demand that I have one tree in my front lawn. I'm not griping about the tree or griping because I want to tear it down and replace it. I'm merely pointing out the contradiction of the developers and homeowners association.

What were you thinking??

So I awoke an hour ago, like I do everyday and pondered to myself a few things. Is it wrong of me to think this?

When I woke up
Maybe I don't have to go to work today. Maybe there was a flood, an electrical problem, Maybe the non-existant air conditioner, which has supposedly been turned on blew up. Ah it would be so nice to not go into work this morning. I'll hop on the computer and check the website. Maybe, as has happened in the past, I will get a nice "you don't have to go to work today" surprise

When I sat on the toilet

No, I did not think about child birth. Instead i thought to myself as I stared at the scale, "I really should have weighed myself before I sat down here". I followed that up with "I really should weigh myself after I sat down here". I wonder how much weight I lost in the process. Yea maybe I'm a little sick today.

As I jumped into the shower

How come the Flyers won last night? If they lost I would be able to see every game of the series. Now I may miss a few games. I hate the Flyers. Let's go Pens.

As I jumped back onto the computer

This Democratic primary season has really lasted a long time. Now that Hillary won PA, what does this mean for the election? Would Hillary have quit if she lost PA?

Before I log off the computer until I return home from work.

Will there please be some sort of electrical problem, a landslide, a flood, something that will force my place of occupation to shut down for a couple of days and provide me a couple of paid days off? I really need my coffee.

Bad Facial Hair Day

For my 18th birthday I received a brand new razor from Gillette. This was quite a bold move, but one that was brilliant. You see, since I received that Gillette Sensor razor, I have used Gillette products. Later I shifted to the Mach 3 razor. It provided a nice, clean and smooth shave. Being that I have a think beard, I needed a rugged razor like this.

Over the past year or so I have started to notice that my shave is far from perfect. Did my face change? When you look at your face daily it is tough to notice. I really don’t know. What I have begun to notice is that there are definitely some “trouble spots” in my shave. I can shave to same spot, to no avail, repeatedly. It is probably something that no one, but myself actually notices, but there is this tiny area underneath my huge snoz and an area on my chin that I just can’t get. Seriously though, how many people are 3 inches away from my face examining microscopic facial hairs? Probably not many.

Why am I blabbing about troubled facial hair spots on my face? Truthfully, I am wondering does anyone else experience these problems from shaving? If not, is it time to invest in a new razor? I am hoping that someone out here in cyber land can help provide me with some direction. You see if other people have these tiny areas then it is not just me. If they don’t, well Gillette I may have to say goodbye or demand that you stop spending money on British soccer teams and invest some money into some research and development projects. If that doesn't work I could always abandon the razor in favor of facial hair. Please feel free to help my by providing some input.

Oh and by the way, which of the following from this site, looks the most intersting? I may grow one if I receive enough feedback from this blog posting.

Bush Stimulus Package

As I have mentioned before on this blog, I am an amatuer economist. I asked that we cut the price of gas to help stimulate the economy. Obviously John McCain has been reading my blog. Read what McCain proposed in Pittsburgh today.

To Fart or Not To Fart... That is the Question

So youth sports in this country is a bit over the top. Parents spend thousands of dollars so their kids can play on "elite" teams in hopes of getting their kids a full ride to college. Needless to say it really doesn't happen that way.

So yesterday I was reffing some soccer games. It is sad to say, but there are certainly a number of parents who are more competitve then the kids. Yes everybody wants a winner, but is this one parent a little over the top in demanding that her son, the goalkeeper have a shut out to "get his XBox back" a little much?

As a referee I hear constant bickering about calls from the sideline. When the kids aren't complaining this should tell you something. Running as a linesman I also hear the snide comments directed at me as well. Some are subtle others are more direct. "Hey do you have a brother that works at soccer facility" as others are laughing. Others just want to know the time or score. I'd love to answer pay attention to the game or buy your own damn stopwatch, as the true professional I am, I don't respond to any questions a spectator on the sidelines has to say or even ask.

After hearing this bickering and annoying questions all day I am tired of it. I am thinking in the back of my head, what can I do to shut these people up? Shortly there after, I feel that bubble in my stomach, and the gas is ready to go. Now I have to think quickly. Do I let it rip or hold it?

Threre are so many things to consider, so let me ask you, the audience, what would you do if you want someone to get away from you quickly? I mean these are people I never expect to see again. Is farting in front of them a good way to get rid of them? What if it is not a smelly fart? What if it is? Do I really want to be remembered as a referee? They say the best referee is the one you don't notice. Do I really want to be remembered at "Farty the referee"? Please let me. know

I-70 mileage sign

Today is my birthday!!! Alright. I'm a year older. I won't reveal my special age.

On another note,

Can anyone tell me why it is that if you take interstate 70 in PA and Maryland the distances to Baltimore and Washington DC change. Near Breezewood there is a sign stating that DC is 128 and Baltimore is 126. That is all fine and dandy, however later, on the same road the distance seems to widen: Baltimore 94 miles and DC 98. Later on I-70 the mileage changes again, this time the distance is 3 miles. Now, I'm not exactly a physicist, but if I am traveling on the same road, why is it that the distances between the 2 change? If I look at a map I know that they aren't really 2 miles apart, but the distance you need to travel to each shouldn't change.

Dunkin Doughnuts and immigration

As a 2nd or 3rd generation American, I know the importance of being given the opportunity to make a better life. Unless you are a Native American your family has immigrated to the U.S. If english is your first language assimilation is easy. If english is a secondary language assimilation is more difficult.

For some reason I have always been attracted to immigration stories, why people came, what it is like etc. I'm sure that life as an immigrant is difficult. It is why so many immigrants cling to what they know and form insular communities. The historical side of me has found that generally an immigrant comes to a new country and locates to an area where people who speak their language. If there is an absence of this particular area then a community center, church, synagogue, etc. usually will fill the void. Those people help with assimilation, finding jobs, housing, and teaching the english language to new Americans. However thriving in the good ol' USA is generally much easier when you are not abrasive. Take my experience at Dunkin Doughnuts yesterday. I know that many Dunkin Doughnuts are foreign owned, but was it really neccessary to yell at a customer when they don't understand you? Here is my situation.

I pull up to the drive thru and do the whole drive through. I realize that we made a mistake by changing the #1, and asking for OJ instead of coffee and asking for no bacon. DD guy says in a very think accent "that will be $X pull around". I said and I'd like a Vanilla Creme doughnut and ask him to repeat the order to make sure he has it correct. Is this unreasonable? I'm not up on Pakistani, but the tone of his voice jumped at me "how dare you question my ability to place your order". I then asked him how much. He responded by giving me some number I could not make out and "pull around".

I pull around. I'm in a hurry to get to Pittsburgh and figure I'll find out when I pull around anyway. Naturally I ask how much. Again I can not understand what he is saying. Naturally I repeat my question. I don't know, should I give him a few $1s, a $5, $10. How the hell am I supposed to know if I can not make out what he is saying. Naturally I ask again. At this point he snaps at me I can finally make out the $7 (not how much in change) and he yells in his indecipherable Pakistani accept "What can't you understand what I'm saying!" Truthfully the answer is no. I can't understand a damn thing you are saying. I didn't say that to him, but I thought it. I did manage to get "what an asshole" out of my mouth before I left, but seriously is it unreasonable to ask someone to repeat what they are saying if you don't understand them?

I think that this guy was a little over the top. I am speaking English, the official language of the country, state, region, city, etc. I am sorry that you are having a bad day or that your mastery of the English language is not exactly up to par. Maybe your perception of your mastery of English is higher then it should be.

Needless to say snapping "Don't you undertand" is not only poor customer service, but irritating. You have come to my country so speaking to me in my language is what I expect. I am the grandchild and greatgrandchild of immigrants. I am sure they struggled grasping the English language, however they were able to grasp enough English to make a living and communicate with the people they were expected to communicate with. I am sure that they did not yell at people "What you don't understand what I'm saying". I think that they understood they had to work harder and change to get by. I'm sure they would have repeated it until the customer understood and simply written it down, but not yelled at the customer. You are in America, work harder on your English and don't expect others to automatically know what you are saying. Work harder.

Bagel inflation

I have been meaning to write this post for several weeks but have not. As you already know, I am an amateur economist. I have recommended that there are a few tax-free days and that gas prices be cut by 50 cents a gallon to help stimulate the economy among other suggestions. I know that this will not completely resolve our problems, there is a major credit and home foreclosure crisis, but this may impact the inflation I am seeing. My energy costs are increasing thanks to my wonderful electric company and as I stated, gasoline prices are ridiculously high as well. This of course has had a ripple effect on the economy as it has caused the cost of everyday goods to increase as well. Most notably my grocery bill has increased, however it has caused my bagel bill to increase 10 cents over the past year. Bagel Bill?

A few years ago I lived a couple of blocks away from a very good bagel shop, the bagel factory. As I like to have breakfast on the move, a fresh bagel everyday fit the bill. It is healthy and inexpensive. A warm, fresh bagel does not require cream cheese which usually increases the price of a bagel from 80 cents to 2.20. Man that cream cheese is expensive. Of course there are ways to circumvent this monstrosity, primarily buying a tub cream cheese at the grocery store for roughly the same price and store it in the refrigerator at work. Walla, you save yourself some nice cash. Moving away from the cream cheese tangent I need to get back to the whole point of this blog entry, the bagel.

As I stated before a quick bagel on the run is a nice healthy breakfast. When I first moved to this unknown city in Maryland I quickly located a convenient bagel shop, Bagel Bob’s (for security purposes the name has been changed) who could rapidly serve me a fresh bagel. The cost was 70 cents and now I was a regular. As time progressed I realized that I can save myself some money by not purchasing a bagel, or two. I became less dependent on the bagel when, after a new ownership group took over, the cost increased to 75 cents and later to 80 cents.

After living in unknown city for 2 years I moved to a new zip code, however I now had a new route to work and the previous bagel place was simply out of the way. Upon the horizon came a new bagel shop, “Stupid sports fan bagel shop” (for security purposes of course). Naturally they support a team that I don’t like, but they had even better bagels for a cheaper price, 70 cents. I hit the jackpot. As I continued to go to “Stupid sports fan bagel shop” their prices have continued to rise once to 75 cents and now 80 cents in just 6 months. I have gone from being a regular 6 AM bagel supporter to a “bandwagon” bagel supporter (see previous note about saving money). When I asked why they raised the prices, I was told it was about the cost of flour. Of course being a smart ass, I asked how come you don’t just make the bagel hole bigger. It would cost just as much and you can use less flour.

Now of course I am contracting myself. I am mad when they reduce the size of my yogurt, but want a larger bagel hole. The truth is how often do you check the size of your bagel hole? Needless to say I am not happy that in the span of 6 months the cost of my bagel has risen 10 cents. Let’s fix this economy soon. If we don’t we will see bagel prices over $1!!! Argh.

Dell computer tech support

About a year ago I bought myself a new dell laptop, my first laptop. I wasn't entirely sure what to expect, but I didn't think I would have any problems transitioning from a PC to laptop. I am really smart. I had no problems at all. The biggest obstacle I had was transitioning from Windows XP to the new Vista. I did not like the new design to vista with the word was the lack of the “file” prompt. With the help of a coworker I was able to conquer this battle.

Fast forward to March of 2008. The computer is just a few days over a year old and I ran into my first irritating problem. For some reason my cd/dvd drive decided that it wanted to work extremely loudly. Then it started skipping on some of my cds. Since I have had this mission of listening to every cd I own, and are only “S”, I could not tolerate this loud irritating noise and skipping. This led me to call Dell. In the back of my mind I was thinking “here we go again, I purchased a product whose lifespan is just slightly over the warranty requirements”. My previous phone with Sprint lasted 14 months and carried a 12 month warranty. A friend of mine had a 30,000 mile warranty on his car. The warning light went off, conveniently, at 30,030. This made me think. What products currently exist that are “built to warranty”? By being “built to warranty” I mean some items that will inevitably die within 3 months of the expiration of a warranty?

Fortunately for me the Dell tech support rep, located in Alabama (Go America not India!), was able to fix my computer over the phone. I also have to thank my extended warranty, which lasts until 2010. What was the culprit? I installed itunes on Sunday and there was a lack of a driver. For you techno geeks you can feel free to discuss this. Needless to say my computer is working and I did not lose the 25 or so songs I currently have on my ipod. Kudos to Dell, but I still do have to ponder, what items are out there that are “built to warranty” and break shortly after the warranty expires? Please provide some suggestions.

On another note, how well do you know corporate america? Take the following quiz. I scored 12 out of 15 for an 80 percent. If you do well there try to spot the fake. This one is hard, so please do not go to NYC or a flea market without doing this.

Wedding Journal Day 3

So now we are married (editorial note today is our 10-day anniversary!!). My wife and I walked out and strangely so do all these people behind me. My mom and dad, her mom and dad and the wedding party slowly walk behind us!!! So now we are in our period of isolation and I finally get to eat. I think it was circa 8:30 when we finally got to eat (and drink). The wedding party joined us for a few minutes before we kicked them all out for our alone time. Nothing naughty, just time to privately rejoice. Now what?

We reassembled in what I have now called to “war room”, which happens to be the same room we took pictures, signed the ketubah, and our alone time. The wedding party assembled and it is now time to rock this joint!

We lineed up and each member of the bridal party and of course our parents are announced before a live (studio) audience, just like Cheers. The theme to Cheers (Where everybody knows your name) was playing in the background as we were introduced as Mr. and Mrs. *&R^aN!!!! (I still wish to remain anonymous). That is a first!

From there we went to our first dance, “I could not ask for more” by Sara Evans and the best man, maid and matron of honor speeches were given. The father-daughter dance, “I loved her first, and the mother-son dance, “What a wonderful world” were danced to before we ate.

The food was excellent, at least what I tasted, my salad and steak, and a small piece of her Salmon. We danced the “Hora” and other dances as well. So what else was played?

I have discussed for months what we should play. I only made it to the Rolling Stones, so I did not complete my task. That said I got an ipod, so a whole new conversation regarding music will inevitably be happening soon. So here is the list from what I can hazily remember. A few drinks and plenty of schmoozing do not allow me to remember all the songs. Here goes:

Baby got back
Booty call
Last dance
Electric slide
Chicken dance
Selfless cold and composed
Cannon in D
All you need is love
That’s a more
She’s everything to me
YMCA
Shout
Twist
Some kinda wonderful
Booty call

I do not believe that any of the new, 2008 Rock ‘n Roll Hall of Fame inductees were played although one was requested, Jack and Diane by John “I have a new last name for each decade” Mellencamp.

The following songs were requested, but I’m not sure they were played

Requested

Time of your life
Jack and Diane
Imagine

So this in essence is my wedding weekend journal. The only small tidbit to add was that during "Shout" one of the guests managed to get so into the song, at his seat that he didn't realize that the waitress was behind him. Naturally this resulted in him spilling his brother's meal on his brother. Poor guy. I hope you got to eat. If not, I owe you a dinner!!!

Thanks everyone for coming I do appreciate it!

NCAA tourney

I'll write more on this later, but can anyone tell me why there is a huge roar of applause when a team is called out during the NCAA selection show when the team already knew they had an automatic bid? Seriously, why is it that a team is yelling, cheering and jumping up and down when their name is called? This may be understandable in a case like Baylor who was unsure if they were going to make it. Temple, UNC? That is the whole point of playing and winning the conference tournament.

That being said, I think it would be very cool to have 4 play-in games. Have one play-in game to play against the #1 seed. There are several other teams besides Coppin State and Mt. St. Mary's who are undeserving of a bid. I know that there is something to be said for conference tournaments, but if a team like Robert Morris wins the regular season title, but loses one game in the conference tournament they really shouldn't be penalized. Allow them the shot at playing in a "play-in" game.

A few months back I wrote here and here about the Rhode Island Rams and the Atlantic 10. I predicted that 4 teams from the A-10 would make it. I was off by 1.

I know that you are eagerly waiting to hear about the wedding. Because we were celebrating our 1 week aniversary I neglected to tell you all the wonderful parts of the reception. I did not ignore it. You will just have to be a little patient while I edit the final parts of my wedding journal.

Upcoming blogs will include information on my new ipod, the new nominees to the rock and roll hall of fame, an update on the record rama guy who was selling his record collection, musical selections from the wedding, and an update on my quest to listen to every cd, tape, and record that I own.

Wedding journal day 2

Pardon the interruption. This version of my wedding diary will briefly be interrupted so that the following news items can be discussed.

Toilet lady – click here to read about this lady’s 2 year journey in the same bathroom and getting stuck to the toilet seat. It makes for comical, yet sickening entertainment. Althought I have much appreciation for the toilet, if this happens to me, please put me out of my misery.

URI loses – All is not lost, we still have a shot at winning the NIT (Not important tournament)

Pitt wins – At least they won one game in the Big East tournament. Let’s hope they win the NCAA tourney. Just remember this where is Penn State? They are sitting on their rears at home.

Poor air quality!!! - Earlier this week we learned there are prescription meds in our water. Now this. Well at least we know that those meds will help cure us (or prevent) those illnesses we are bound to get.

Now that I go this out of my system I must continue with the story of the wedding.

Saturday arrived rapidly. My family grabbed a quick breakfast and returned to the hotel so that the ladies could do that whole make-up/hair thing. I never have understood this; and why it is necessary to get ready 7 hours before the event? It took me all of 45 minutes to get ready, but much of that 45 minutes spent trying to figure out what to do with the wardrobe malfunction.

After returning from breakfast my brother and I went to workout, which was nice stress reliever. We watched the end of the Georgetown/Louisville game and I began to get ready. As I stated earlier there was bit of a wardrobe malfunction. We were able to remedy the problem and here’s to hoping that no one noticed. We were rapidly approaching the picture hour, which we did before the ceremony. Naturally most people were late, but hey since kick-off was 3.5 hours away it did not really matter.

It is without hesitation that I would recommend to anyone to do the pictures before hand. It honestly made everything after the wedding go much smoother. The photographer was very nice and the pictures I’m sure will turn out great, however, I’m just quite thankful that I’m not a model. It has been 5 days since the picture hour and I swear my cheeks still hurt and just when you think you are done there is another “quick” round of photos.

T-1.5 hours

Pictures are done and over with now and it is just time to count down. The guests are arriving so my mobility is limited. Thankfully I’m not the bride, but I really don’t need a lot of people talking my ear off an hour before the biggest day of my life. Of course there are plenty of people this weekend who has told me “It’s not too late to change your decision”. Although this is a bit humorous once or twice, I began to get quite irritated by this statement throughout the weekend.

1 hour until showtime…

The sun is down, the witnesses are here, the bride and I are here and we are ready to sign our names on the Ketubah!! The only problem, the Rabbi and the Ketubah aren’t here. The rabbi finally arrived. I really wasn’t sweating it to be quite frank, I didn’t expect him until 7:30 anyway.

5 minutes till show time!!!

Ok we are lined up, the bridal party, mom and pop, the future in-laws and grandmother in-law (is there such a thing?)

Showtime!

I really can’t provide you with specifics. I walked down the aisle with mom and dad and walked out with my beautiful wife. In the middle the Rabbi babbled in Hebrew and in English. We circled each other, drank some wine, and we recited our vowels. I broke the glass and now we are married.
The next chapter is coming up soon

A wedding journal

With much fanfare I return!!! I know that you all have been eagerly anticipating my return. Well, I tied the knot over the weekend and I'm sure you are all eager to find out all the details. As a result I will answer all those important questions in my diary.

Thursday:

After a long day of work, I was now responsible for making sure that all my work will be covered in my absence. I end up staying at work and additional 2 hours finalizing all the fine details. Of course now is the time to run around like a chicken with his head cut off doing a number of errands and making sure that everything is a-ok for the wedding. The stress was mounting. I have to pick up my Mom and Pop for my last meal as a single male!!! Of course as a somewhat recent transplant to an undisclosed city, I don't know my way around and ended up on the highway. Of course this is a highway that does not have a quick turnaround so 20 minutes later I returned back to the original location. To make matters worse, it would have taken 5 minutes, 10 walking to get to the restaraunt.

Dinner was nice, but now I have to go home and write my vows. Yee-Haw. Although I wrote some top notch vows, I did so begrudgingly, then went to bed.

Friday

Remember the section above regarding running around like a chicken with its head cut off? Yea it was alot worse the day before the wedding. I felt terrible for my dad who was locked up at the hotel without a car or anything to do. I didn't eat breakfast and ended up eating lunch at like 2:00 due to the massive line at the deli! Of course my dad didn't have any problems and met up with some guests who came in early. So much for the guilty feelings about dad being locked in a hotel.

I left home around noon and would not return until after the wedding. I was always taught that you can't come home to a dirty house, so I was vigorously cleaning prior to my departure. I hung around the hotel until the rehearsal, which I think everyone was late for due to the traffic which was made worse by the rain. The rehearsal went smoothly, especially because of "Rabbi Matt" and our other last minute fill in.

What else to do but eat after a rehearsal, or really after anything you do. Naturally we grubbed hard with the out of towners and wedding party and hung out until the early morning. Nah, I didn't get drunk, that would make for a horrible wedding, but I did have a few cold ones. I gave the groomsmen their gifts and thanked everyone for coming. Just remember tommorow is the big day!!!

Saturday --- The Big Day

To be continued. Did you really think I would tell all at once? Seriously.

Absentee blogger

I know that I have been absent in keeping up with my blog over the past week. It has been hard with this whole wedding thing. I will gladly share our adventures of the weddings with my thoughts and other tidbits. As for now I need to catch up on some zzzs.

Franco Harris is Jewish!!!

This picture from the Post-Gazette proves that Franco Harris is indeed Jewish.

So this picture was taken at Myron Cope's funeral, but it seems weird to see Franco in a Yarmulke. You know who looks strange in a yarmulke? Some guy I saw at Panera Bread today. Can someone please make sense of that? A Jewish guy wearing a yarmulke in public on a Saturday eating at a non-kosher place. This should turn into a "guess whose Jewish too" section of my blog, but it won't.

Another reason to hate AT & T

As you may know from my previous post, I am not a huge fan of A T & T. Truthfully I am basing this on several poor experiences from one particular store and the fact that I have received text messages and as of this week telemarketer calls from people I do not know. If you are looking for a further reason to hate A T & T just click here and check out their decptive practices in Florida.

Myron we miss you

When Myron Cope retired a few years ago I was quite upset. He was certainly a colorful voice and crazy at times, but he was certainly entertaining. Myron was so entertaining that many Pittsburghers often turned their tvs to mute to listen to his commentary, my father included. I can still recite the words to several parody songs that Myron did leading up to a big Steelers game or other Pittsburgh sports game. One parody was of Achy Breaky Heart. I dug up an old tape, yes tape, not mp3, cd, etc., but a tape of this song. I have included some of the lyrics below.

"Get out your towel, your terrible, terrible towel, the Steelers gonna play a playoff game.

So get out your towel, your terrible, terrible towel this town will never ever be the same. Please tell your Ma and do tell your Pa to put on their TV in Arkansas...their missing fun that almost breaks the law. Don't tell your heart, your achy breaky heart the towel's coming back with miracles...you can't trust your heart, your achy breaky heart... he get riled up and pass a little gas. Just get out a towel just any towel so long as long as its yellow or gold or black or anything...the towel and Steelers gonna beat them half to death". Mother Moe, Cope here with your listening and dancing pleasure."

Another parody song included "Give Zane the ball he do it all". Of course that was when the Pirates actually had the ability to win more than 50 games in a season.

Copes's health was failing and his voice was not the same in his last season, so it was not shocking to hear of his retirement then. However I was disappointed that his retirement did not receive more coverage. Myron will certainly be missed and I hope, as it appears, that his death will receive the proper coverage. For more on Cope check out the following sites.

http://www.networksandwebapplications.com/myron/copeism.html

http://www.pittsburghlive.com/x/pittsburghtrib/sports/steelers/s_554487.html

www.steelergridiron.com/history/myroncope.html

Mmm.... smells so good

While I am not perfect, I try my best to give back to the environment. I recycle, I love nature, and being outside. I love watching the birds fly, the squirrels eat their acorns and other assorted animals do their thing. Watching dogs play with dogs and cats with cats is fascinating and something I can spend long periods of time admiring. Naturally, my mind does wonder from time to time, particularly when animals do the things they do. Dogs and cats bark and meow respectively when they want fed or hear strange noises. I’ve read books and articles about the “non-verbal” communication of pets as well. This is probably where you are















beginning to say this dude is strange. However, did you know that certain animals circle around the spot they lie down in? A cat wants to play or hunt when their tail is curled. Did you know that? Did you know that dogs want to play and are happy when their tails are wagging or a cat is happy when they rub against your legs? A dog probably wants to go for a walk when they push their nose to a leash or scratch the door with their paw. Ok so those are simple things, but it is certainly “non-verbal communication”.

Why am I talking about “non-verbal” communication of animals? Well I am hanging out at my parent’s house. Growing up I had some great dogs and cats. They generally coexisted with each other; they did not have any major issues sharing a bed with each other, which was cute. Franco, the dog, and Taylor the cat seem to get along well with each other.

However their recent behavior is a bit disturbing. For example, last night the dog and cat had a “stare down”. Taylor patrolled the bottom of the steps while Franco patrolled the top daring each other to try and pass each other. Of course Taylor woke me up this morning doing her usual "plastic bag lick". Taylor has mastered the art of licking a plastic bag non-stop until you feed her. Trust me it works. Taylor licks alot of other things as well, but I would stop short of calling her a "window licker". Taylor is a little odd and licks plastic bags as well as furniture, but truthfully, I compare her to that kid in junior high school who has not figured out that picking your nose in public is simply not acceptable. Earlier today they chased each other around the house, but I guess that is to be expected. However when I came home this evening, I noticed Taylor slowly approach Franco to sniff his ass. Franco naturally slowly trotted away and several minutes later returned the favor by sniffing Taylor’s ass. Truthfully I really have no idea what the meaning of the “friendly” ass-sniffing contest is, but it did make me ponder life as a pet. I do not have many things to translate, but here are a few things I have translated from the pet world to what it would mean in the human world.

Pet world VS Human world

Sniffing the ass of another pet (pet behavior) = this is the friendly handshake, which says “I haven’t seen you in a while, but it is real nice to see you. We should hang out like the good old days.” (Human behavior).

I need to piss near every street sign (Pet behavior) = “I am a gangster/town idiot teen who finds it necessary to put my ‘tag’ (spray painting) up so that every fool thinks I am the big man around town” (Human behavior).

The slight tilt of the face (pet behavior) = “I am so cute. You wouldn’t really do that to me would you?”

Leg lift pee (pet behavior) = “Wanna see how big it is!”

The cat licking his paw and rubbing himself (pet behavior) = “I’m showering, quit looking at me.”

Licking my privates (pet behavior) = Truthfully, this is too graphic to really go into. Use your imagination for that one. I will say though that I had a friend told me that if he had the ability to lick his crotch , he would never leave the house.

If you want more information on pet behaviors or photos you can check the following links. http://www.animalbehavior.org/ - I can’t believe this site exists, the much more practical http://www.ddfl.org/ or here for rolf hicker's photos.

Can I be one of a million???

For years I have heard of the Neilson television ratings. This is the standard for television stations to go by when they want to charge new rates for commercials and to see what television shows are popular. Truthfully I thought it was a myth. They can't really determine how many people watch the superbowl or the series finale of friends, could they? After all there are millions of people in this country they couldn't have made that many phone calls, sent letters, etc. After nearly 30 years, I have finally been chosen. I can now singlehandedly take down those stupid "reality" shows!!! Ok I can not do it singlehandedly, but I can now help us return to quality television program; situational comedy. Aside from Thursday nights on television, I do not think I can name a single sit com. All shows seem to be reality or some sort of drama. I can take some of this, but truthfully it is harder and harder to find the classic sit com.

What did Neilson ask me?

1. What is on my television now. Doh! I said nothing, as I have just woken up and am checking my e-mail
2. How many televisions in your household have cable? (3) Satellite? (0)
3. Do you have any movie channels? No
4. How many people live in your household? How old are they?
5. What are your demographics, White, Hispanic, Black, Asian, etc.
6. What is your social security number? (just kidding they didn't ask and I would have hung up immediately and called the cops)
7. How many telephone numbers do you have in your house? How many are cell phones (I am not sure how this reflects TV usage)
8. On a scale of 1-10, 1 not interested at all and 10 totally interested, would you be interested in being in our television panel? HELL YEA!!!

They will contact me in the future!!! Die reality TV, Die!!! Bring back the situational comedy!!

and down the strech they go

So I am in the home strech for my upcoming wedding. We meet with the DJ tonite and all I was able to complete was through "Old 97s" with the album "fight songs". Needless to say it will be unlikely that I will be able to complete my original task of listing to all of my over 400 collection of records, tapes, and cds. I started in July half hazardly, but picked it up in recent months. I am still taking requests. If you can come up with ANY suggestions I will gladly take it. If you are familiar with any of the artists listed below I want some feedback.

Outside Providence – The one and only movie starring me (Sorry mom, the Bar Mitzvah tape does not count!!)

Parker, Charlie/Dizzie Gillespie

Pearl jam

Petty, Tom

Pink Floyd

Police

Preservation Hall

presidents of the u.s.

Queen

r.e.m.

rage against the machine

red hot chilli peppers

Rolling Stones

RUN DMC

rusted root

Santana

Saturday Night Fever

Simon and garfunkle

Sinatra, Frank

Smashing Pumpkins

spin drs.

Springsteen, Bruce

stereolab

Steve miller

Stewart, rod

stp

sublime

third eye blind

Thorogood

U2
Weather Report

West side story

Who
ZZ top – greatest hits

Just when I thought I had it tough I came across this article courtesy of the Postgazette. Just think I've been listening to my cds constantly, at home, at work, and in the car and still haven't completed my collection. How long does it take Mr. Mawhinney to listen to every track of every record? Keep in mind that he probably does not have a record player in his car either. Track the bidding here.

Here are some additional questions:

Is it possible for me to add this to my wedding registry?

How many trips do I have to make in my little sedan to bring all these records to my home if I win?

Can I store all these records in my home?

Why don't I have $3 million for this investment?

How many hamburgers would fill the spot all these records currently fill?

Is Mr. Mawhinney like Pavlov's dog? Did someone ring a bell to make him purchase a new record. I'd like to be the bell ringer, boy would I have some power over him.

Can Mr. Mawhinney's sale cause a resurgence in the sale of 45 records?

In all seriousness I wish you luck and hope you get well over the $3 million you are asking?

today's websites

Today I decided to try a few new blogs and websites. I started by hitting the "next" button above and came to the following sites.

http://marshandmist.blogspot.com/ - I like looking at old photos from time to time. Time to time is the operative phrase. I do not think I would ever spend time to scan in daily pictures of my family. If I do please, please torture me, like these people have done to me.

http://mdquilter73.blogspot.com/ - I'll start off with the positive. They are based out of MD. The bad. Does this state benefit from your quilt sales. I hope you charge a sales tax. I can appreciate good artwork, but quilting is just not my thing.

Beth's Quilts reminded me of some excellent art that I saw yesterday at zyzyx, a pseudo Judaica store. They sell a significant amount of Judaica goods, but what Judaica store is open on Saturday? They have a great collection of excellent works, but some items are a bit pricey. It was not unusual to see items marked for $1500 or more. My friend spotted a nice piece, but realized he could go online for it. Of course I have tried two other sites, but I'm pretty confident that these two are not what I'm looking for: http://www.thejewishexperience.com/ and http://www.jewishexperiences.com/.

http://www.jewishexperiences.com/ - This really may be the worst website I have ever encountered. There is nothing worse then computer gibberish.

http://superltz.blogspot.com/ - This has the ability to be a great blog. I give them props for nice pictures, but being in a foreign language that I don't understand puts a hamper on things.

Now to some real news from the Washington Post, Seansramblings favorite newspaper. Did you know that Kosovo declared their independence? You do now.

So much for clicking the "next blog" link for today. I've decided to close up shop for today so that I can move to letter "N" in my ongoing quest for wedding songs. I"m still taking nominations and will update all my viewers soon with my current list.

Ways to end the upcoming recession

In addition to my many jobs as a soccer referee, professional pain in the ass, paperboy, professional pain in the ass, Cold Stone Creamery man (Free ice cream on your birthday!!!), professional pain in the ass, camp counselor, professional pain in the ass, customer service representative, professional pain in the ass, day-care worker, and professional pain in the ass, I am an amatuer economist. Truthfully, aside from a few economics classes in college, I really do not know much about fiscal and monetary policy. I am happy that George W. Bush signed a bill that will put an extra $600 into my pocket, but I am a little skeptical and not entirely sure that giving all people an extra $600 truly stimulates an economy. That said I have a few suggestions on how we can avoid the upcoming recession.

1. Mandate to all gasoline companies that they cut gasoline by $.50 a gallon. Am I the only person in this world who has seen that gas companies like Exxon are raking in unprecedented profits and the little guy(s) are suffering. You can still profit and put money back into our pockets.

2. Can we please stop rising prices at the grocery store. For crying out loud I want those extra 2 oz of yogart from Giant.

3. The government should really spend more money on real things. Maybe provide government to jobs to the people. I know a not so-strong bridge in Pittsburgh that could use some work. There are surely numerous potholes that need to be filled or parks that need to be built by the people for the people. Even if it is part-time or seasonal the feds could provide a significant number of jobs and the unemployed people can earn some wages. The government and people are getting something instead of "giving" us $600 and hoping that we spend it.

4. Give all Americans a free rubics cube. I love the 80s.

5. Create a new National Holiday and force people to buy candy and hallmark cards. Teddy bears are optional. I think Matt Groening had this idea so I really can't take credit for this, but seriously it is a long drought to go from President's day to Memorial day without a day off. We can call this new holiday "Mystery Man Day" and force people to go on a crazy scavenger hunt at the mall or a retail district. We could also just enact some crazy legislation on earth day that forces businesses to have a sale.

6. Have a national tax free day. Maybe we can have one a week until we are out of a recession. Not all states have a state sales tax, but hey it still would encourage spending, particularly on big ticket items

7. Have a tax free month for any product made in America.

8. Consume insane amounts of Apples, Berries, Cherries, Nuts and grapes. (I don't know what the purpose of that is, but it is an old camp song)

I have any additional suggestions, but yours are welcome.

Valentine Valentino

So Valentine's Day is days away and I have yet to buy anything other than a card for my fiance'. We are getting married in less then a month so we agreed to keep valentine's gifts to a minimum, capping our spending at $15. That of course is where the dilema begins. Does anyone have any suggestions for what to buy? I'm all ears truthfully.

On another note, did you know that those energy efficient light bulbs may not be so environmentally friendly? I came across a story today that said those "CDL" light bulbs contain small amounts of mercury, which can harm the environment if not properly disposed of. Who knew.

Politics in the Workplace

Depending on who you ask, tomorrow is the Chesapeake or Potomac primary. Voters in Maryland, DC, and Virginia can vote for their man or woman for president. For the first time in my young presidential voting career I am voting in an election that actually means something. Having previously voted in the late Pennsylvania primaries my vote never counted as the elections were settled by the time I hit the voting booth. This is a first and I am excited. That said I did find it quite irritating that people at work had the “courage” to send e-mails about a local political rally for a candidate. I fully value my ability to vote and the idea that we can support who we want. Worldwide we have seen essentially rigged elections and elections that spark violence like the current situation in Kenya. However please do not send me information about political rallies. Please keep you opinions to yourself. If you really feel the need to spread the word of your candidate please knock on doors or pass out flyers at the grocery store. You need not send me and all of my coworker’s e-mails about political rallies etc. Please let me know if you agree or disagree. I obviously have my own feelings regarding this subject, but please, I am challenging someone to change my mind on this topic. If you can truly find a good reason for someone to shove their personal political opinions down my throat let me know. Has anyone else encountered this problem? Please let me know.

Toast and the wedding songs

I know that I haven't written in several days. I have been quite busy. I am slowly moving along my list of cds trying desperately for songs to played at my upcoming wedding. However I have less then a 15 minute commute to my job as a professional pain in the ass so that is not really allowing me to listen to tons of cds. In addition I still feel the obligation to keep up with the modern music scene. As a result I am currently listening to Nora Jones' "come away with me" and have the remainder of the alphabet to sift through. I am still holding out to the idea I will be able to listen to every track of every cd, tape, and record that I own, but I am slowly coming to the conclusion that it is unlikely. That said I will simply expand that project until I complete it.

On another note I had the pleasure of reffing some quality indoor soccer games yesterday. Quality is said as an understatement. I you already know I hate indoor soccer, but definately do it for the money. I couldn't help but to laugh almost non stop during this game during this high school coed game. Toast won this game 11-2. Toast you wonder? Yes fully equipped with t-shirts (uniforms) that pictured a toaster up in flames. A burning toaster is not exactly funny, but was certainly comical during my days at the University of Rhode Island, where I swear there was a buring toaster in the cafeteria at least once a month during my college career. Hey it that is where it stopped I could have stopped myself from laughing for a full 48 minute game. They came with their mascot, a young gentlemen who wore 2 body-sized pieces of toast draped over his shoulders and performed a half-time show by "racing" the remote controlled car/toaster. What exactly is a remote controlled car/toaster? Simple a remote controlled car, who was stripped of the plastic car and had a toaster placed on top of it. It was certainly a nice, fun way of being goofy. I have done games where kids are "jokers" in the past, however they usually have sexual references to them such as "renob", "69", etc. I haven't seen such creativity out of a team since my intramural college days when I was playing (and managing) the angry dwarfs soccer teams or the platypus junkies basketball teams.

Notes from the Wii kend and the Superbowl

Yes, I do know how to properly spell weekend. Despite my lack of interest in technology, I am familiar with the Nintendo Wii, a new, interactive gaming system. Growing up I really wanted an Atari, however Nintendo introduced an awesome gaming system that trumped the old Atari. New gaming systems like Super Nintendo, Sega, Xbox, and Play station emerged, however for some unknown reason; I never followed up with the newest gaming system. As a result the Nintendo was the first and last gaming system I ever got.

In college I became addicted to computer games like a demo version of Grand Theft Auto and Snood. I also spent countless hours downloading songs from Napster (man do I miss a free napster download!). From time to time I would play Madden football, but as a whole I never really got into video games. So why am I talking about these old gaming systems and the Wii?

Yesterday was my first experience with the Wii. It was fun, although golf was a little boring. I was up for trying more games and I got my chance to play tennis. In an effort to do my Pete Sampras impression I decided to do an overhand jump serve. In my attempt, I lost track of where I was and swung, Pete Sampras style at the ball. However instead of hitting the tennis ball, I hit an overhead lamp, shattering the glass protecting the light bulb! What a guest I am!!!. Of course I cut my finger in the process. Thankfully a hospital visit was not necessary, but I certainly was embarrassed. The moral of this story is that there really should be some warning regarding this gaming system (or I lack common sense).

In other news from the weekend I, like 97 million other people, watched the Super Bowl. I do hate the Patriots, and as you can see I am not a big Giants fan either so I was cheering for a tie. Knowing that this truly is not possible, I had to find some positives of this predicament. I am happy to see that the Patriots did not have the perfect season. Arrogance does get you in trouble, but truthfully the Giants were the better team.

Despite this huge upset of the game, I was truly disappointed with the game. The game seemed to take forever and was pretty uneventful until the fourth quarter. The commercials were also uneventful. There was not one "landmark" commercial and lacked any "pizzazz". Truthfully aside from Coke and Pepsi I do not know who advertised for the game. That is a major problem considering that a Super Bowl commercial cost $2.7 million for a 30 second spot. You can check the USA Today's "Adometer", but here are my picks.

My top 5 (in no particular order)

Coke's Runaway Float - maybe I'm a sucker for balloons because I was behind Clifford the Big Red Dog when I was a high school student marching in the Macy's Day parade.

Audi's "G-dfather car commercial" - The car looked really cool, but it doesn't have the same impression as a dead horse in the bed.

Budweiser's "firebreath" - Although it was somewhat predictable, it was mildly entertaining. That said I remembered whose commercial it was.

Coke's "James Carville" - I'm not exactly Romeo, but neither is James Carville. He has a distinct look and since this is an election year having a feud between donkeys and elephants is somewhat entertaining.

The "head bob" commercial - Thought it was funny, but I don't know what company it was for. $2.7 and I don't remember what company ran the ad.

What ever happened to the Bud classics like Cedric the entertainer, Bud Bowl or others like Mean Joe's coke commercial or godaddy.com?

Online Commercials

Regardless of the reason there are often nights where I do get to see the friendly face of Brian Williams. Say what you want about the NBC Nightly news, but I do find them to be a reputable source for news. I am not opposed to Kate Couric or Charles Gibson, in fact I used to like Charles Gibson when he had his morning gig. However I remain fixed on Nightly News with Brian Williams.

I am not always home at 6 or 6:30, which means that I do not get my glimpse of the daily news. Other times I am preparing dinner and do not have a television near by. I am a bit of a news junkie and have a passion for history. Living through history is an amazing thing. When I do not catch the Nightly News, I go online. Tonight was one of those nights. However I became quite upset at the fact the the news is broken up. You watch a story and then a commerical loads up. Story, commerical, story, commercial. I realize that there is a need for advertising, but this has got to be the most irritating this ever. I am sure that it all evens out, but I was literally stuck. I could not "fast forward" through this. I wanted to watch the next story and 30 seconds is not enough time to do something around the house. Can someone help?

Random thoughts of the day

So I opened my new ink cartridge for my printer. Since it was cheaper, I bought the Office depot brand, which boasted about its "greenness" meaning recycling. I am all for recycling as you can see from this previous post. The package included a postage paid envelope to recycle my previous ink cartridge. What a brilliant idea. Am I wrong for thinking to myself "why did you insert this extra non-recyclable plastic piece to hold the cartridge in place?" Usually a couple of recyclable cardboard pieces are inserted to hold it into place. Does anyone else think that this is a bit of a waste and defeat the purpose “being green?”



Has anyone taken notice of the Atlantic-10 basketball conference? Traditionally a mid-major, the A-10 has gotten 2-3 teams in the NCAA tourney in March. Due to some personal connections, attending University of Rhode Island, growing up less then a dozen miles from Duquesne, and knowing a Duquesne recruit and another player being heavily recruited by URI, I have some added reasons for watching this conference.



Throughout various point of the season Dayton, Xavier, and my beloved URI have been ranked. UMass has also received votes in previous polls, St. Joe's, Charlotte, and Duquesne all have a solid record at this point at the season. Personally I expect 4 teams to make it and there still is a month left in the season, but could an extra one of those teams squeak into the tournament? That is what March Madness is all about!!!