Tuesday, January 8, 2008

Introducing the new Alpha Beta Analog Digital High Definition Plasma Television

Although I would love to think of myself as technologically advanced, I am not. I resist new technology. I am frugal and become attached to my familiar surroundings. Therefore I do not buy into these new gadgets like ipods and cell phones with all the bells and whistles. I honestly believe that I was the last of my friends to own a computer and the last to own my own cell phone. If it works for me don’t change. That is my motto.

In the past couple of months I have seen increasingly more adds telling me that my television may need updated to digital technology. As a result, I have finally decided to get off my ass and try to figure this out. I am now researching this change to the new "Alpha Beta Analog Digital High Definition Plasma Television". Ok I do not truly to not now what any of these things are. Can someone please help me? Please avoid all that techno jargon. I don’t care about all the intricate details on how many watts my television cathode ray television has and how it uses the sun to transform my trash into a flashing light on my screen.

All I truly want to know is if I have to pay more money to watch television? If I resist the changes implemented by the television transmitters and manufacturers what is going to happen? Will my TV explode? Will Martians come eat me if I resist change? Will my television be deemed useless and thus have to be relegated to some landfill? Will Oprah hunt me down for using too much energy (Really you should check out the link to save our planet)? Will the CIA send me subliminal messages to launch a dangerous expedition high in the Rockies Mountains? Ok I am going a little overboard (or am I?), but what is going to happen with the February 2009 changes.

According to my research they are implementing this change for the following reasons:

"Digital Television (DTV) is an advanced broadcasting technology that will transform your television viewing experience. DTV enables broadcasters to offer television with movie-quality picture and sound. It can also offer multiple programming choices, called multicasting, and interactive capabilities. "Converting to DTV also will free up parts of the scarce and valuable broadcast spectrum. Those portions of the spectrum can then be used for other important services, such as public and safety services (police and fire departments, emergency rescue), and advanced wireless services." (Thanks KDKA)

The latter sounds like a reasonable reason for change. However, the former really means nothing to me. Unless my television begins to sound worse than my record player (yes I still have one and it works well), I really don’t care about the sound my television emits. When it comes to the picture I don’t need to have such clarity. Honestly do I need to see the nacho cheese stain, like the one on Gorbachev's head, on the fat guy’s shirt sitting behind home plate during the World Series? I also don't need to see him shoving a $10 beer and hotdog down his throat. Does this new change also mean that I will be forced to have that irritating 2-3 second delay as I rapidly press the up and down buttons on my remote?

I truly am not sure yet if I will be bitter or not. I just want to know what changes I should expect and how much, if any, additional money I and other may be forced to spend.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

The DTV switchover is only relevant if you still receive your TV over a pair of rabbit ears. If you have cable (and a cable box) or a dish, you'll be fine. They're just trumping all of this up in an effort to sell TVs to stupid people. If you do use an antenna, the gov't is supposed to be offering a subsidy on set-top digital tuners once we get closer to the switchover date.

As for the reasons given for the switchover, I think they're only giving part of the story. This will free up bandwidth for emergency services. More importantly though, it will free up bandwidth that the government can auction off to cell phone companies at no real cost.

Mystery Man said...

Jason,

That is nice to know. I will not be running to Best Buy. It is nice to know that there is a conspiracy out there to trick stupid people (like me) and for the government to tax people.