Another reason to hate AT & T

As you may know from my previous post, I am not a huge fan of A T & T. Truthfully I am basing this on several poor experiences from one particular store and the fact that I have received text messages and as of this week telemarketer calls from people I do not know. If you are looking for a further reason to hate A T & T just click here and check out their decptive practices in Florida.

Myron we miss you

When Myron Cope retired a few years ago I was quite upset. He was certainly a colorful voice and crazy at times, but he was certainly entertaining. Myron was so entertaining that many Pittsburghers often turned their tvs to mute to listen to his commentary, my father included. I can still recite the words to several parody songs that Myron did leading up to a big Steelers game or other Pittsburgh sports game. One parody was of Achy Breaky Heart. I dug up an old tape, yes tape, not mp3, cd, etc., but a tape of this song. I have included some of the lyrics below.

"Get out your towel, your terrible, terrible towel, the Steelers gonna play a playoff game.

So get out your towel, your terrible, terrible towel this town will never ever be the same. Please tell your Ma and do tell your Pa to put on their TV in Arkansas...their missing fun that almost breaks the law. Don't tell your heart, your achy breaky heart the towel's coming back with miracles...you can't trust your heart, your achy breaky heart... he get riled up and pass a little gas. Just get out a towel just any towel so long as long as its yellow or gold or black or anything...the towel and Steelers gonna beat them half to death". Mother Moe, Cope here with your listening and dancing pleasure."

Another parody song included "Give Zane the ball he do it all". Of course that was when the Pirates actually had the ability to win more than 50 games in a season.

Copes's health was failing and his voice was not the same in his last season, so it was not shocking to hear of his retirement then. However I was disappointed that his retirement did not receive more coverage. Myron will certainly be missed and I hope, as it appears, that his death will receive the proper coverage. For more on Cope check out the following sites.

http://www.networksandwebapplications.com/myron/copeism.html

http://www.pittsburghlive.com/x/pittsburghtrib/sports/steelers/s_554487.html

www.steelergridiron.com/history/myroncope.html

Mmm.... smells so good

While I am not perfect, I try my best to give back to the environment. I recycle, I love nature, and being outside. I love watching the birds fly, the squirrels eat their acorns and other assorted animals do their thing. Watching dogs play with dogs and cats with cats is fascinating and something I can spend long periods of time admiring. Naturally, my mind does wonder from time to time, particularly when animals do the things they do. Dogs and cats bark and meow respectively when they want fed or hear strange noises. I’ve read books and articles about the “non-verbal” communication of pets as well. This is probably where you are















beginning to say this dude is strange. However, did you know that certain animals circle around the spot they lie down in? A cat wants to play or hunt when their tail is curled. Did you know that? Did you know that dogs want to play and are happy when their tails are wagging or a cat is happy when they rub against your legs? A dog probably wants to go for a walk when they push their nose to a leash or scratch the door with their paw. Ok so those are simple things, but it is certainly “non-verbal communication”.

Why am I talking about “non-verbal” communication of animals? Well I am hanging out at my parent’s house. Growing up I had some great dogs and cats. They generally coexisted with each other; they did not have any major issues sharing a bed with each other, which was cute. Franco, the dog, and Taylor the cat seem to get along well with each other.

However their recent behavior is a bit disturbing. For example, last night the dog and cat had a “stare down”. Taylor patrolled the bottom of the steps while Franco patrolled the top daring each other to try and pass each other. Of course Taylor woke me up this morning doing her usual "plastic bag lick". Taylor has mastered the art of licking a plastic bag non-stop until you feed her. Trust me it works. Taylor licks alot of other things as well, but I would stop short of calling her a "window licker". Taylor is a little odd and licks plastic bags as well as furniture, but truthfully, I compare her to that kid in junior high school who has not figured out that picking your nose in public is simply not acceptable. Earlier today they chased each other around the house, but I guess that is to be expected. However when I came home this evening, I noticed Taylor slowly approach Franco to sniff his ass. Franco naturally slowly trotted away and several minutes later returned the favor by sniffing Taylor’s ass. Truthfully I really have no idea what the meaning of the “friendly” ass-sniffing contest is, but it did make me ponder life as a pet. I do not have many things to translate, but here are a few things I have translated from the pet world to what it would mean in the human world.

Pet world VS Human world

Sniffing the ass of another pet (pet behavior) = this is the friendly handshake, which says “I haven’t seen you in a while, but it is real nice to see you. We should hang out like the good old days.” (Human behavior).

I need to piss near every street sign (Pet behavior) = “I am a gangster/town idiot teen who finds it necessary to put my ‘tag’ (spray painting) up so that every fool thinks I am the big man around town” (Human behavior).

The slight tilt of the face (pet behavior) = “I am so cute. You wouldn’t really do that to me would you?”

Leg lift pee (pet behavior) = “Wanna see how big it is!”

The cat licking his paw and rubbing himself (pet behavior) = “I’m showering, quit looking at me.”

Licking my privates (pet behavior) = Truthfully, this is too graphic to really go into. Use your imagination for that one. I will say though that I had a friend told me that if he had the ability to lick his crotch , he would never leave the house.

If you want more information on pet behaviors or photos you can check the following links. http://www.animalbehavior.org/ - I can’t believe this site exists, the much more practical http://www.ddfl.org/ or here for rolf hicker's photos.

Can I be one of a million???

For years I have heard of the Neilson television ratings. This is the standard for television stations to go by when they want to charge new rates for commercials and to see what television shows are popular. Truthfully I thought it was a myth. They can't really determine how many people watch the superbowl or the series finale of friends, could they? After all there are millions of people in this country they couldn't have made that many phone calls, sent letters, etc. After nearly 30 years, I have finally been chosen. I can now singlehandedly take down those stupid "reality" shows!!! Ok I can not do it singlehandedly, but I can now help us return to quality television program; situational comedy. Aside from Thursday nights on television, I do not think I can name a single sit com. All shows seem to be reality or some sort of drama. I can take some of this, but truthfully it is harder and harder to find the classic sit com.

What did Neilson ask me?

1. What is on my television now. Doh! I said nothing, as I have just woken up and am checking my e-mail
2. How many televisions in your household have cable? (3) Satellite? (0)
3. Do you have any movie channels? No
4. How many people live in your household? How old are they?
5. What are your demographics, White, Hispanic, Black, Asian, etc.
6. What is your social security number? (just kidding they didn't ask and I would have hung up immediately and called the cops)
7. How many telephone numbers do you have in your house? How many are cell phones (I am not sure how this reflects TV usage)
8. On a scale of 1-10, 1 not interested at all and 10 totally interested, would you be interested in being in our television panel? HELL YEA!!!

They will contact me in the future!!! Die reality TV, Die!!! Bring back the situational comedy!!

and down the strech they go

So I am in the home strech for my upcoming wedding. We meet with the DJ tonite and all I was able to complete was through "Old 97s" with the album "fight songs". Needless to say it will be unlikely that I will be able to complete my original task of listing to all of my over 400 collection of records, tapes, and cds. I started in July half hazardly, but picked it up in recent months. I am still taking requests. If you can come up with ANY suggestions I will gladly take it. If you are familiar with any of the artists listed below I want some feedback.

Outside Providence – The one and only movie starring me (Sorry mom, the Bar Mitzvah tape does not count!!)

Parker, Charlie/Dizzie Gillespie

Pearl jam

Petty, Tom

Pink Floyd

Police

Preservation Hall

presidents of the u.s.

Queen

r.e.m.

rage against the machine

red hot chilli peppers

Rolling Stones

RUN DMC

rusted root

Santana

Saturday Night Fever

Simon and garfunkle

Sinatra, Frank

Smashing Pumpkins

spin drs.

Springsteen, Bruce

stereolab

Steve miller

Stewart, rod

stp

sublime

third eye blind

Thorogood

U2
Weather Report

West side story

Who
ZZ top – greatest hits

Just when I thought I had it tough I came across this article courtesy of the Postgazette. Just think I've been listening to my cds constantly, at home, at work, and in the car and still haven't completed my collection. How long does it take Mr. Mawhinney to listen to every track of every record? Keep in mind that he probably does not have a record player in his car either. Track the bidding here.

Here are some additional questions:

Is it possible for me to add this to my wedding registry?

How many trips do I have to make in my little sedan to bring all these records to my home if I win?

Can I store all these records in my home?

Why don't I have $3 million for this investment?

How many hamburgers would fill the spot all these records currently fill?

Is Mr. Mawhinney like Pavlov's dog? Did someone ring a bell to make him purchase a new record. I'd like to be the bell ringer, boy would I have some power over him.

Can Mr. Mawhinney's sale cause a resurgence in the sale of 45 records?

In all seriousness I wish you luck and hope you get well over the $3 million you are asking?

today's websites

Today I decided to try a few new blogs and websites. I started by hitting the "next" button above and came to the following sites.

http://marshandmist.blogspot.com/ - I like looking at old photos from time to time. Time to time is the operative phrase. I do not think I would ever spend time to scan in daily pictures of my family. If I do please, please torture me, like these people have done to me.

http://mdquilter73.blogspot.com/ - I'll start off with the positive. They are based out of MD. The bad. Does this state benefit from your quilt sales. I hope you charge a sales tax. I can appreciate good artwork, but quilting is just not my thing.

Beth's Quilts reminded me of some excellent art that I saw yesterday at zyzyx, a pseudo Judaica store. They sell a significant amount of Judaica goods, but what Judaica store is open on Saturday? They have a great collection of excellent works, but some items are a bit pricey. It was not unusual to see items marked for $1500 or more. My friend spotted a nice piece, but realized he could go online for it. Of course I have tried two other sites, but I'm pretty confident that these two are not what I'm looking for: http://www.thejewishexperience.com/ and http://www.jewishexperiences.com/.

http://www.jewishexperiences.com/ - This really may be the worst website I have ever encountered. There is nothing worse then computer gibberish.

http://superltz.blogspot.com/ - This has the ability to be a great blog. I give them props for nice pictures, but being in a foreign language that I don't understand puts a hamper on things.

Now to some real news from the Washington Post, Seansramblings favorite newspaper. Did you know that Kosovo declared their independence? You do now.

So much for clicking the "next blog" link for today. I've decided to close up shop for today so that I can move to letter "N" in my ongoing quest for wedding songs. I"m still taking nominations and will update all my viewers soon with my current list.

Ways to end the upcoming recession

In addition to my many jobs as a soccer referee, professional pain in the ass, paperboy, professional pain in the ass, Cold Stone Creamery man (Free ice cream on your birthday!!!), professional pain in the ass, camp counselor, professional pain in the ass, customer service representative, professional pain in the ass, day-care worker, and professional pain in the ass, I am an amatuer economist. Truthfully, aside from a few economics classes in college, I really do not know much about fiscal and monetary policy. I am happy that George W. Bush signed a bill that will put an extra $600 into my pocket, but I am a little skeptical and not entirely sure that giving all people an extra $600 truly stimulates an economy. That said I have a few suggestions on how we can avoid the upcoming recession.

1. Mandate to all gasoline companies that they cut gasoline by $.50 a gallon. Am I the only person in this world who has seen that gas companies like Exxon are raking in unprecedented profits and the little guy(s) are suffering. You can still profit and put money back into our pockets.

2. Can we please stop rising prices at the grocery store. For crying out loud I want those extra 2 oz of yogart from Giant.

3. The government should really spend more money on real things. Maybe provide government to jobs to the people. I know a not so-strong bridge in Pittsburgh that could use some work. There are surely numerous potholes that need to be filled or parks that need to be built by the people for the people. Even if it is part-time or seasonal the feds could provide a significant number of jobs and the unemployed people can earn some wages. The government and people are getting something instead of "giving" us $600 and hoping that we spend it.

4. Give all Americans a free rubics cube. I love the 80s.

5. Create a new National Holiday and force people to buy candy and hallmark cards. Teddy bears are optional. I think Matt Groening had this idea so I really can't take credit for this, but seriously it is a long drought to go from President's day to Memorial day without a day off. We can call this new holiday "Mystery Man Day" and force people to go on a crazy scavenger hunt at the mall or a retail district. We could also just enact some crazy legislation on earth day that forces businesses to have a sale.

6. Have a national tax free day. Maybe we can have one a week until we are out of a recession. Not all states have a state sales tax, but hey it still would encourage spending, particularly on big ticket items

7. Have a tax free month for any product made in America.

8. Consume insane amounts of Apples, Berries, Cherries, Nuts and grapes. (I don't know what the purpose of that is, but it is an old camp song)

I have any additional suggestions, but yours are welcome.

Valentine Valentino

So Valentine's Day is days away and I have yet to buy anything other than a card for my fiance'. We are getting married in less then a month so we agreed to keep valentine's gifts to a minimum, capping our spending at $15. That of course is where the dilema begins. Does anyone have any suggestions for what to buy? I'm all ears truthfully.

On another note, did you know that those energy efficient light bulbs may not be so environmentally friendly? I came across a story today that said those "CDL" light bulbs contain small amounts of mercury, which can harm the environment if not properly disposed of. Who knew.

Politics in the Workplace

Depending on who you ask, tomorrow is the Chesapeake or Potomac primary. Voters in Maryland, DC, and Virginia can vote for their man or woman for president. For the first time in my young presidential voting career I am voting in an election that actually means something. Having previously voted in the late Pennsylvania primaries my vote never counted as the elections were settled by the time I hit the voting booth. This is a first and I am excited. That said I did find it quite irritating that people at work had the “courage” to send e-mails about a local political rally for a candidate. I fully value my ability to vote and the idea that we can support who we want. Worldwide we have seen essentially rigged elections and elections that spark violence like the current situation in Kenya. However please do not send me information about political rallies. Please keep you opinions to yourself. If you really feel the need to spread the word of your candidate please knock on doors or pass out flyers at the grocery store. You need not send me and all of my coworker’s e-mails about political rallies etc. Please let me know if you agree or disagree. I obviously have my own feelings regarding this subject, but please, I am challenging someone to change my mind on this topic. If you can truly find a good reason for someone to shove their personal political opinions down my throat let me know. Has anyone else encountered this problem? Please let me know.

Toast and the wedding songs

I know that I haven't written in several days. I have been quite busy. I am slowly moving along my list of cds trying desperately for songs to played at my upcoming wedding. However I have less then a 15 minute commute to my job as a professional pain in the ass so that is not really allowing me to listen to tons of cds. In addition I still feel the obligation to keep up with the modern music scene. As a result I am currently listening to Nora Jones' "come away with me" and have the remainder of the alphabet to sift through. I am still holding out to the idea I will be able to listen to every track of every cd, tape, and record that I own, but I am slowly coming to the conclusion that it is unlikely. That said I will simply expand that project until I complete it.

On another note I had the pleasure of reffing some quality indoor soccer games yesterday. Quality is said as an understatement. I you already know I hate indoor soccer, but definately do it for the money. I couldn't help but to laugh almost non stop during this game during this high school coed game. Toast won this game 11-2. Toast you wonder? Yes fully equipped with t-shirts (uniforms) that pictured a toaster up in flames. A burning toaster is not exactly funny, but was certainly comical during my days at the University of Rhode Island, where I swear there was a buring toaster in the cafeteria at least once a month during my college career. Hey it that is where it stopped I could have stopped myself from laughing for a full 48 minute game. They came with their mascot, a young gentlemen who wore 2 body-sized pieces of toast draped over his shoulders and performed a half-time show by "racing" the remote controlled car/toaster. What exactly is a remote controlled car/toaster? Simple a remote controlled car, who was stripped of the plastic car and had a toaster placed on top of it. It was certainly a nice, fun way of being goofy. I have done games where kids are "jokers" in the past, however they usually have sexual references to them such as "renob", "69", etc. I haven't seen such creativity out of a team since my intramural college days when I was playing (and managing) the angry dwarfs soccer teams or the platypus junkies basketball teams.

Notes from the Wii kend and the Superbowl

Yes, I do know how to properly spell weekend. Despite my lack of interest in technology, I am familiar with the Nintendo Wii, a new, interactive gaming system. Growing up I really wanted an Atari, however Nintendo introduced an awesome gaming system that trumped the old Atari. New gaming systems like Super Nintendo, Sega, Xbox, and Play station emerged, however for some unknown reason; I never followed up with the newest gaming system. As a result the Nintendo was the first and last gaming system I ever got.

In college I became addicted to computer games like a demo version of Grand Theft Auto and Snood. I also spent countless hours downloading songs from Napster (man do I miss a free napster download!). From time to time I would play Madden football, but as a whole I never really got into video games. So why am I talking about these old gaming systems and the Wii?

Yesterday was my first experience with the Wii. It was fun, although golf was a little boring. I was up for trying more games and I got my chance to play tennis. In an effort to do my Pete Sampras impression I decided to do an overhand jump serve. In my attempt, I lost track of where I was and swung, Pete Sampras style at the ball. However instead of hitting the tennis ball, I hit an overhead lamp, shattering the glass protecting the light bulb! What a guest I am!!!. Of course I cut my finger in the process. Thankfully a hospital visit was not necessary, but I certainly was embarrassed. The moral of this story is that there really should be some warning regarding this gaming system (or I lack common sense).

In other news from the weekend I, like 97 million other people, watched the Super Bowl. I do hate the Patriots, and as you can see I am not a big Giants fan either so I was cheering for a tie. Knowing that this truly is not possible, I had to find some positives of this predicament. I am happy to see that the Patriots did not have the perfect season. Arrogance does get you in trouble, but truthfully the Giants were the better team.

Despite this huge upset of the game, I was truly disappointed with the game. The game seemed to take forever and was pretty uneventful until the fourth quarter. The commercials were also uneventful. There was not one "landmark" commercial and lacked any "pizzazz". Truthfully aside from Coke and Pepsi I do not know who advertised for the game. That is a major problem considering that a Super Bowl commercial cost $2.7 million for a 30 second spot. You can check the USA Today's "Adometer", but here are my picks.

My top 5 (in no particular order)

Coke's Runaway Float - maybe I'm a sucker for balloons because I was behind Clifford the Big Red Dog when I was a high school student marching in the Macy's Day parade.

Audi's "G-dfather car commercial" - The car looked really cool, but it doesn't have the same impression as a dead horse in the bed.

Budweiser's "firebreath" - Although it was somewhat predictable, it was mildly entertaining. That said I remembered whose commercial it was.

Coke's "James Carville" - I'm not exactly Romeo, but neither is James Carville. He has a distinct look and since this is an election year having a feud between donkeys and elephants is somewhat entertaining.

The "head bob" commercial - Thought it was funny, but I don't know what company it was for. $2.7 and I don't remember what company ran the ad.

What ever happened to the Bud classics like Cedric the entertainer, Bud Bowl or others like Mean Joe's coke commercial or godaddy.com?