Friday, June 20, 2008
Turkish National anthem
Did you know that the Turkish National Anthem is "The Independence March"? Am I the only one who finds this slightly ironic considering the Ottomon Turk's long history of controlling vast territory throughout the world?
Thursday, June 19, 2008
Sisqu files suit over thong!!!
Ok so Sisqu really is not suing anyone, at least that I know of. Sisqu is known for the "thong song" a hit song several years ago, but there may be a resurgence of this song. Why? Well that is because Macrida Patterson is suing Victoria's Secret over "faulty underwear". What!! You read correctly. Check the link below: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/3032619/#25258620
First of all I have to say how silly this really is. Apparently Ms. Patterson was wearing a "decorative thong". I'm not exactly sure there is a thing called "decorative thong", but if there is, it has to be of sexual nature. Is she a prostitute?
The thong apparently was faulty. I can think of several ways that underwear can be faulty. Not wiping your ass incorrectly leaves shit stains. That is faulty. Holes in your underwear are also faulty. However, wearing your underwear as you gain weight is your fault. According to Ms. Patterson a "metal" part of her underwear flew and scratched her eye. Why. I go with the too fat scenario. Why did you need metal in your underwear again?
According to her attorney the underwear was faulty in its design and manufacture. Is that really possible?
Too Much info? Probably. However, in an unmatched journalistic moment, Meredith Viera asked those tough questions. You know those questions Tim Russert was known to ask.
"How many times did you wear this underwear"? "Did you launder your underwear"?
Ms. Patterson's answer; “No Meredith, I wore it like maybe once, like, no, maybe twice". She further states that she has "a lot of underwear from Victoria’s Secret so I didn't have to wear it a lot".
One week supply? Two week supply? We need to know.
In this hard-hitting case and through Meredith Viera's top notch journalistic skills we also learned that Victoria's Secret actually asked for the "defective underwear" so that they could analyze it. EEEEEWWWWWW gross. The young pup lawyer denied because he wanted to keep the evidence. Why? Don't you know that your chance of getting a Victoria's Secret model has just rapidly deteriorated?
In one of the greatest lines I have ever hear the young pup lawyer responds to Viera's "How much money do you want"? By stating "This case is definitely about protecting the consumer from ah you know being exposed to and being harmed from these potential products"
That is definitely code for "the closest I will ever be to seeing a naked women has to be locating all women who have purchased this product in hopes that one of them will try it on in front of me!!!"
In closing the young pup attorney slips up by stating "we want to make sure that Vict... ah Macrida Patterson (Ms. Patterson shoots a dirty look) is fully redressed for her grievous injury".
In all honesty this is the dumbest lawsuit since the McDonald's "I can't believe coffee hot suit"
First of all I have to say how silly this really is. Apparently Ms. Patterson was wearing a "decorative thong". I'm not exactly sure there is a thing called "decorative thong", but if there is, it has to be of sexual nature. Is she a prostitute?
The thong apparently was faulty. I can think of several ways that underwear can be faulty. Not wiping your ass incorrectly leaves shit stains. That is faulty. Holes in your underwear are also faulty. However, wearing your underwear as you gain weight is your fault. According to Ms. Patterson a "metal" part of her underwear flew and scratched her eye. Why. I go with the too fat scenario. Why did you need metal in your underwear again?
According to her attorney the underwear was faulty in its design and manufacture. Is that really possible?
Too Much info? Probably. However, in an unmatched journalistic moment, Meredith Viera asked those tough questions. You know those questions Tim Russert was known to ask.
"How many times did you wear this underwear"? "Did you launder your underwear"?
Ms. Patterson's answer; “No Meredith, I wore it like maybe once, like, no, maybe twice". She further states that she has "a lot of underwear from Victoria’s Secret so I didn't have to wear it a lot".
One week supply? Two week supply? We need to know.
In this hard-hitting case and through Meredith Viera's top notch journalistic skills we also learned that Victoria's Secret actually asked for the "defective underwear" so that they could analyze it. EEEEEWWWWWW gross. The young pup lawyer denied because he wanted to keep the evidence. Why? Don't you know that your chance of getting a Victoria's Secret model has just rapidly deteriorated?
In one of the greatest lines I have ever hear the young pup lawyer responds to Viera's "How much money do you want"? By stating "This case is definitely about protecting the consumer from ah you know being exposed to and being harmed from these potential products"
That is definitely code for "the closest I will ever be to seeing a naked women has to be locating all women who have purchased this product in hopes that one of them will try it on in front of me!!!"
In closing the young pup attorney slips up by stating "we want to make sure that Vict... ah Macrida Patterson (Ms. Patterson shoots a dirty look) is fully redressed for her grievous injury".
In all honesty this is the dumbest lawsuit since the McDonald's "I can't believe coffee hot suit"
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Sweden vs. Russia
The last day of group play puts Sweden vs Russia. The Russian need a win while the Swedes need a draw or win to advance. So who am I choosing? Let's compare the two.
Top Swedish Model: Caroline Winberg seen on the left.
Top Russian Model: Anna Kournikova seen to the right
Top Russian Model: Anna Kournikova seen to the right
Advantage: Russia
National Anthem singing:
Advantage: Russia
Sweden's greatest player: Henrick Larsson
Russian's greatest player: Lev Yashin (is he Jewish?)
advantage: Sweden
National Anthem singing:
advantage Sweden (zlatan ibrahimovic you are hanging out with malouda way too much... naughty, naughty)
Coolest name: Yuri Zhirkov (Pronounced zorkoff, which sounds similar to jerkoff) advantage Russia
Swedish Flag:
Russian Flag:
Advantage: Tie - You can't go wrong with red, white and blue, but you have to admit there is just something cool about the Swedish flag.
Best international business
Sweden: IKEA
Sweden: IKEA
Russia: Smirnoff
Furniture vs. drunkenness? Who is badder? I don't know many funiture manufacterers that woulc survive a drunk. Ask any WVU or Boston sports fan.
Advantage: Russia
Musician:
Russia: Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky
Sweden: Abba
Advantage: Russia
Top female athlete:
Russia: Maria Sharapova
Sweden: Annika sorenstam
Russia
Obvioiusly you get the point who won this game.
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
World Cup Finals Retmatch....live
I'm anxious to see which game(s) will be shown today. As I have already shared, I'm a huge fan of the Dutch, but I can't imagine that the Italy vs. French game would not be shown. It is Italy/France...I'm happy with that.
Will we see any head buts?
Pregame... I've decided I want to see Italy win. I have based this solely on the Italian team's singing ability. Who wouldn't want to cheer for a team who is singing "with great gusto" their team's national anthem and the Italians have crazier hair although they do lack creativity with their hair dues. Antonio Cassano is starting. I saw him when he played as an 18 year old for A.S. Roma. His play caused the only "Mamma Mia" uttered during my stay in Italy. He's a big time player, who hasn't lived up to his potential.
Even though Malouda is not playing (he must have been pulled because he doesn't know the national anthem), it appears that they have inserted new guys who do not know their national anthem. Additionally there is no one with crazy hair. Is the most creative French item "French fries"?The coin toss is exiting.
The referee is Ľuboš Michĕl from Slovakia. Being that I have seen him referee Champions League games I think he is good.
9th minute -Frank Ribery is injured. That is too bad since he has been playing well. He has been substituted for Nasri is in the game. This isn't good for France. Romania vs. Netherlands 0-0
18th minute - Evra picks up a yellow card for a late challenge.
19th minute Gavou's shot goes wide. Henry is mad it wasn't a cross to him. 24 minute - Eric Adibal is sent off for taking Luca Toni down in the box
25th minute - Pirlo converts the penalty by blasting the ball in the upper 90. Raymond Domenech looks really confused. I'm sure Raymond Domenech is asking "Does France offer unemployment?” The French take off Nasri. Has he set the record for shortest time played in a Euro game?
28th minute - Di Rossi blasts a shot over the crossbar. The French are in disarray. I can't imagine French winning. Luca Toni almost converts and off balance flick to goal.
30th minute - Luca Toni looks like a champ. Andy Gray pisses me off. He is really irritating and constantly negative. I hate his accent too. Where the hell is he from? Please take away his Visa and send him back to wherever he came from.
34th minute - Henry misses his chance. Netherlands 0 Romania 0. Cassano has not touched the ball.
37th minute - Cassano has to trek back to touch the ball.
38th minute - Free kick directly into the Italian wall, 3 feet from the ground. They need to bring me in as a free kick specialist. I think I can play longer than Nasri.
43rd - Di Rossi is fouled near the top of the box. Let's hope they can strike it better than the French. Awesome strike, the French goalkeeper touches it just enough so that it deflects off the post, but ball does not go in.
45th minute - Pirlo is booked. He has to sit out the next game.
Stoppage time - another booking against the Italians.
We're back in action. Govou is book for a challange on Cassano who appears to slowly become involved in the game.
54th minute - Gattuso is booked. There is really very little going on this half. Pirlo is subbed. Ambrossini is now on. I hope he lasts longer than Nasri. Netherlands 0 Romania 0.
GOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALL!!!!! Dutch 1 Romania 0.
62nd minute GOAL!!! - Di Rossi puts one in!! Italy 2 France 0!!!
Perrotta is out Camoranesi is in!
Govou is out. Truthfully I think he sucks. Nicholas Anelka is in. The French appear to be going all out. Things are looking very grim. Domenech has his agent on the line and is asking how much his unemployment checks are going to be.
68th minute there is an injury and they show some hot Italian chicks on TV.
70th minute - Cassano is fouled and is injured. More Hot Italian chicks are shown. Cassano has been fouled 4 times today.
72nd minute - another booking Boumsong (i think). What a terrible name. My suggestion is to rename yourself the thong song.
74th - The French aren't giving up. Benzema has a nice shot on goal. Nice save by Buffon.
85th minute - Henry is booked. Man these two sides hate each other.
Stoppage time - Barring any miracle it appears that Italy will win. Again Luca Tonie with an awesome strike. Game over.
Netherlands 2 Romania 0
Post game - There is nothing better than Ruud Gullit's quote about his appearance in 1988. "I looked like a porn star".
Will we see any head buts?
Pregame... I've decided I want to see Italy win. I have based this solely on the Italian team's singing ability. Who wouldn't want to cheer for a team who is singing "with great gusto" their team's national anthem and the Italians have crazier hair although they do lack creativity with their hair dues. Antonio Cassano is starting. I saw him when he played as an 18 year old for A.S. Roma. His play caused the only "Mamma Mia" uttered during my stay in Italy. He's a big time player, who hasn't lived up to his potential.
Even though Malouda is not playing (he must have been pulled because he doesn't know the national anthem), it appears that they have inserted new guys who do not know their national anthem. Additionally there is no one with crazy hair. Is the most creative French item "French fries"?The coin toss is exiting.
The referee is Ľuboš Michĕl from Slovakia. Being that I have seen him referee Champions League games I think he is good.
9th minute -Frank Ribery is injured. That is too bad since he has been playing well. He has been substituted for Nasri is in the game. This isn't good for France. Romania vs. Netherlands 0-0
18th minute - Evra picks up a yellow card for a late challenge.
19th minute Gavou's shot goes wide. Henry is mad it wasn't a cross to him. 24 minute - Eric Adibal is sent off for taking Luca Toni down in the box
25th minute - Pirlo converts the penalty by blasting the ball in the upper 90. Raymond Domenech looks really confused. I'm sure Raymond Domenech is asking "Does France offer unemployment?” The French take off Nasri. Has he set the record for shortest time played in a Euro game?
28th minute - Di Rossi blasts a shot over the crossbar. The French are in disarray. I can't imagine French winning. Luca Toni almost converts and off balance flick to goal.
30th minute - Luca Toni looks like a champ. Andy Gray pisses me off. He is really irritating and constantly negative. I hate his accent too. Where the hell is he from? Please take away his Visa and send him back to wherever he came from.
34th minute - Henry misses his chance. Netherlands 0 Romania 0. Cassano has not touched the ball.
37th minute - Cassano has to trek back to touch the ball.
38th minute - Free kick directly into the Italian wall, 3 feet from the ground. They need to bring me in as a free kick specialist. I think I can play longer than Nasri.
43rd - Di Rossi is fouled near the top of the box. Let's hope they can strike it better than the French. Awesome strike, the French goalkeeper touches it just enough so that it deflects off the post, but ball does not go in.
45th minute - Pirlo is booked. He has to sit out the next game.
Stoppage time - another booking against the Italians.
We're back in action. Govou is book for a challange on Cassano who appears to slowly become involved in the game.
54th minute - Gattuso is booked. There is really very little going on this half. Pirlo is subbed. Ambrossini is now on. I hope he lasts longer than Nasri. Netherlands 0 Romania 0.
GOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALL!!!!! Dutch 1 Romania 0.
62nd minute GOAL!!! - Di Rossi puts one in!! Italy 2 France 0!!!
Perrotta is out Camoranesi is in!
Govou is out. Truthfully I think he sucks. Nicholas Anelka is in. The French appear to be going all out. Things are looking very grim. Domenech has his agent on the line and is asking how much his unemployment checks are going to be.
68th minute there is an injury and they show some hot Italian chicks on TV.
70th minute - Cassano is fouled and is injured. More Hot Italian chicks are shown. Cassano has been fouled 4 times today.
72nd minute - another booking Boumsong (i think). What a terrible name. My suggestion is to rename yourself the thong song.
74th - The French aren't giving up. Benzema has a nice shot on goal. Nice save by Buffon.
85th minute - Henry is booked. Man these two sides hate each other.
Stoppage time - Barring any miracle it appears that Italy will win. Again Luca Tonie with an awesome strike. Game over.
Netherlands 2 Romania 0
Post game - There is nothing better than Ruud Gullit's quote about his appearance in 1988. "I looked like a porn star".
Saturday, June 14, 2008
Euro 2008
Now that I am spending more time at home during the day, I have more time to watch soccer. I love watching the "Orange" (I call them the Orange Crush) aka the Netherlands kick some ass. I have been a fan of the Dutch since the days of Koeman bothers and Dennis Bergkamp in the early 90s when they knocked Britain out of the '94 World Cup. Their trumping of both finalists from the 2006 World Cup is quite impressive and I hope they continue this awesome display.
Watching these games has lead me to ponder a few things.
1. Why is the Dutch national anthem called William of Nassau? Why not call it something that shows it's strong history? Here are some suggestions. "Ode to Peter Stuyvesant" or "Glory Dutch East India Company"?
2. Why do the Dutch wear orange when the national colors are red, white and blue? Why does Italy wear blue when their national colors are green, white, and red?
3. Does the Spanish national anthem have any words? None of the players were singing their national anthem when it was playing.
4. Does Florent Malouda know the French national anthem. He was the lone Frenchman not singing when it was playing prior to yesterday's game.
5. Why aren't there any strange hairdues? I always look forward to the "crazy dues". Can you beat these dues from the 2002?
taribo west
Watching these games has lead me to ponder a few things.
1. Why is the Dutch national anthem called William of Nassau? Why not call it something that shows it's strong history? Here are some suggestions. "Ode to Peter Stuyvesant" or "Glory Dutch East India Company"?
2. Why do the Dutch wear orange when the national colors are red, white and blue? Why does Italy wear blue when their national colors are green, white, and red?
3. Does the Spanish national anthem have any words? None of the players were singing their national anthem when it was playing.
4. Does Florent Malouda know the French national anthem. He was the lone Frenchman not singing when it was playing prior to yesterday's game.
5. Why aren't there any strange hairdues? I always look forward to the "crazy dues". Can you beat these dues from the 2002?
Ronaldo
taribo west
David Beckham
Thursday, June 12, 2008
A review of Southern Style Chicken Sandwich at McDonald's
Let me start by saying that I am now working the evening shift. What exactly does this mean? I have alot more free time during the day to ponder it is that I ponder. It also means that I can go to various businesses like McDonald's and take them up on their free offerings.
I know that you all have been waiting for my review of the Southern Style Chicken Sandwich at McDonald's. With the purchase of a drink you are entitled to a FREE Southern Style Chicken Sandwich. Since I first hear of this great offering last weekend I was excited. The sandwich sounded good on the radio.
If only I did my research before hand.
According to McDonald's you can enjoy this:
Southern Style Chicken Sandwich --- All hail, the perfect sandwich. So simple, so juicy, so perfectly seasoned, lightly breaded all white meat chicken topped with two pickles and served on an oh, so steamy buttery tasting bun. ( http://www.mcdonalds.com/usa/eat/features.html )
So how is this wonderful sandwich? Let me start off by saying this. If you enjoy rushing to the bathroom within 30 minutes of eating, this is the perfect sandwich for you. When I first got there I didn't realize that this was merely a chicken sandwich with pickles. I was quite disappointed in this. I pictured it to be very different. It wasn't. It was not even an original idea. I'm not quite sure how I McDonalds has been missing this simple idea for years?
Keep in mind that the chicken sandwich was not really free. I had to purcase a drink, which I guess is the only way that McD's actually can make some money off of eat this laxative. However instead of paying $1.06 for a pop, I had to pay $2.37 for a milkshake (which was rather tasy I have to admit). It should have been simple. Instead I ended up arguing the my server over whether my drink was a pop or soda (which costs $1.06) and got frustrated. She was able to understand "milkshake", so I paid $2.37 for that instead.
All in all if you are looking to purchase the new Southern Style Chicken Sandwich from McDonald's I urge you not to and stick with the quarter pounder and cheese or go directly to the closest Wendy's or Arby's.
I know that you all have been waiting for my review of the Southern Style Chicken Sandwich at McDonald's. With the purchase of a drink you are entitled to a FREE Southern Style Chicken Sandwich. Since I first hear of this great offering last weekend I was excited. The sandwich sounded good on the radio.
If only I did my research before hand.
According to McDonald's you can enjoy this:
Southern Style Chicken Sandwich --- All hail, the perfect sandwich. So simple, so juicy, so perfectly seasoned, lightly breaded all white meat chicken topped with two pickles and served on an oh, so steamy buttery tasting bun. ( http://www.mcdonalds.com/usa/eat/features.html )
So how is this wonderful sandwich? Let me start off by saying this. If you enjoy rushing to the bathroom within 30 minutes of eating, this is the perfect sandwich for you. When I first got there I didn't realize that this was merely a chicken sandwich with pickles. I was quite disappointed in this. I pictured it to be very different. It wasn't. It was not even an original idea. I'm not quite sure how I McDonalds has been missing this simple idea for years?
Keep in mind that the chicken sandwich was not really free. I had to purcase a drink, which I guess is the only way that McD's actually can make some money off of eat this laxative. However instead of paying $1.06 for a pop, I had to pay $2.37 for a milkshake (which was rather tasy I have to admit). It should have been simple. Instead I ended up arguing the my server over whether my drink was a pop or soda (which costs $1.06) and got frustrated. She was able to understand "milkshake", so I paid $2.37 for that instead.
All in all if you are looking to purchase the new Southern Style Chicken Sandwich from McDonald's I urge you not to and stick with the quarter pounder and cheese or go directly to the closest Wendy's or Arby's.
Thursday, June 5, 2008
Edge, Why Promote beards?
Ok, so the series is over and the Penguins lost. I am disappointed in their loss and seeing how close they were to tieing the game, but truthfully they were outplayed by a better team. It was still a great season. It was fun to watch a bunch of scruffy guys play with broken noses and other assorted injuries put their hearts on the line for the prize.
What I still have trouble understanind is Edge shaving cream company. If someone from this company reads this please answer the following questions:
What is with the Aloe commercial? I never understood the "Aloe commercial" other than the fact that they featured hot women.
Why are you promoting the "playoff beard"? Your business build on people consuming shaving cream, which means that people have to shave. Having silly promotions where we can monitor the players beards promote facial growth, meaning that you do not shave or use your product. Is this some sort of reverse psychology? Really I don't understand.
What I still have trouble understanind is Edge shaving cream company. If someone from this company reads this please answer the following questions:
What is with the Aloe commercial? I never understood the "Aloe commercial" other than the fact that they featured hot women.
Why are you promoting the "playoff beard"? Your business build on people consuming shaving cream, which means that people have to shave. Having silly promotions where we can monitor the players beards promote facial growth, meaning that you do not shave or use your product. Is this some sort of reverse psychology? Really I don't understand.
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
Mr. Tire
I would be remiss if I did not say anything about witnessing one of the greatest hockey games ever last evening. I did doze off a few times throughout the 2nd and 3rd overtimes, but I did witness multiple comebacks in this epic game and did catch Sykora's game winning goal. GO PENS.
Now to Mr. Tire here is a copy of a letter that I am sending their way:
Dear Mr. Tire,
I am very disappointed in the recent service I was provided with in a recent visit. I visited your store on _____________ Road in ________________, ___________ on Monday June 2 and was told that it would be a 2 hour wait to get my oil changed in my car. Because I felt that was an extraordinary time to wait I asked to set up an appointment. Your representative allowed me to set up an appointment for the following day. What I did not know was that despite the fact I had an appointment, I had to wait for an hour and a half for my car to be completed when I returned the next day. The oil change took 15 minutes, however my car sat in the parking lot for an hour before anyone moved it to the working station.
While I was upset at having to wait so long, I was more disgusted by the waiting area. The leaky ceiling, missing ceiling tile, buckets filled with water and the massive puddles were extremely painful to look at and listening to the constant dripping of water distracted me from doing the work that I brought with me. While I saved money by patronizing this store, your poor service and horrible appearance are shameful and I will likely take my business elsewhere opting to go more expensive place that offers quicker service and provides better accommodation in the customer waiting areas. I would appreciate it if you could please address these issues in the future.
Sincerely,
Mystery Man.
Now to Mr. Tire here is a copy of a letter that I am sending their way:
Dear Mr. Tire,
I am very disappointed in the recent service I was provided with in a recent visit. I visited your store on _____________ Road in ________________, ___________ on Monday June 2 and was told that it would be a 2 hour wait to get my oil changed in my car. Because I felt that was an extraordinary time to wait I asked to set up an appointment. Your representative allowed me to set up an appointment for the following day. What I did not know was that despite the fact I had an appointment, I had to wait for an hour and a half for my car to be completed when I returned the next day. The oil change took 15 minutes, however my car sat in the parking lot for an hour before anyone moved it to the working station.
While I was upset at having to wait so long, I was more disgusted by the waiting area. The leaky ceiling, missing ceiling tile, buckets filled with water and the massive puddles were extremely painful to look at and listening to the constant dripping of water distracted me from doing the work that I brought with me. While I saved money by patronizing this store, your poor service and horrible appearance are shameful and I will likely take my business elsewhere opting to go more expensive place that offers quicker service and provides better accommodation in the customer waiting areas. I would appreciate it if you could please address these issues in the future.
Sincerely,
Mystery Man.
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